sad-boi

    • EmmaGoldman [she/her, comrade/them]M
      ·
      3 months ago

      Doubling the character limit to 280 was the moment the twitter platform jumped the shark. Eliminating the character limit entirely was the beginning of the end. Similarly, TikTok's biggest problem has always been that videos are too long. Limitation breeds creativity.

      • Thallo [love/loves]
        ·
        3 months ago

        I think that increasing the word limit had to do with how Twitter has cornered its market.

        People apparently crave longform content which is why you get like 60 tweet threads that are really just one article split into 60 chunks. Or people taking pictures of paragraphs and posting them. Twitter recognized that the change would make content more viewable.

        The real issue is that people feel they have to get their longform content from Twitter despite the platform not being built for it.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      3 months ago

      Someone dm trump that if you say "RIZZ" 12 times into the mirror in a dark room at midnight the Rizzler will appear and grant you unlimited rizz in exchange for your soul.

      • UlyssesT [he/him]
        hexagon
        ·
        3 months ago

        Rizzler

        soul

        What's the exchange rate between souls and gyatts?

      • Justice@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        3 months ago

        12 times? In this economy? Look, bub, Candyman promised me a quick "hook under the balls, up, and ripped out" death. He promised it's his fastest, least painful option. And all he asks for it is 5 Candymans.

        But not to outbid!... Beetlejuice will do it for 3. No mirror needed. He also tells me he can turn into some sort of giant sand snake... so, that seems useful.

  • sewer_rat_420 [he/him, any]
    ·
    3 months ago

    Oh shit, she is communist? Thanks for the heads up, was gonna vote PSL but guess I will vote for Comrade Coconut and Tim "Ground Beef" Walz now.

  • invo_rt [he/him]
    ·
    3 months ago

    "I wish we lived in the world chuds think we do", example #18492.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      The forces of darkness are approaching, bigly! trump-anguish

      Show

    • comrade_pibb [comrade/them]
      ·
      3 months ago

      He used to be wet! Very wet, folks, possibly the wettest! People would say, "look at how wet he is" but now? He's dry! No more wetness, can you believe it? Now people are saying he's not even damp! SAD

      • LocalOaf [they/them, ze/hir]
        ·
        3 months ago

        trump-moist

        People are saying "Donald Trump is the new Salton Sea" folks! It used to have water, big water. Fresh water. Now? Look at it! It's washed up and dry and salty. Very sad. Very very sad, I will tell you that. I talked to President Putin, I said "Vlad, whaddya know about dry?" and he told me about Aral Sea, they've got Aral Sea over there, but Aral instead of Ariel like in Little Mermaid, and frankly, much like Little Mermaid, that went from wet to on land too, and it's a real shame. But we're doing great things from the standpoint of dry, but the Ukraine and wet, not so much.

        • jack [he/him, comrade/them]
          ·
          edit-2
          3 months ago

          Why don't they just hire someone from Hexbear to fake him instead of some dumbass intern? We're better Trumps than Trump.

          • LocalOaf [they/them, ze/hir]
            ·
            edit-2
            3 months ago

            We're too good at it and instead of staying "on message" would have him start a feud with Mr. Clean for making the magic erasers smaller and not settling down with a Mrs. Clean or something

            a-little-trolling

            You know, I'm a Yankees guy and some have said I could've been the best ballplayer in New York if I didn't love doing deals so much, but over in Queens they've got the Mets, the New York Mets, great city by the way back with Rudy, but with little Mike Bloomberg and Bumblin' Bill DeBlasio the new DEI hire guy Patch McAdams or whatever, not so much, but the Mets have a big baseball head guy, great guy, Mr. Met!

            And we like that! We like that. And you know what's even better than Mr. Met? Mr. and Misses Met! Great body on her by the way. Maybe not quite as good as our lovely first lady Melania but not so bad. But the Mets mascots are married, and we love it! We love it. Some have said I'm so good at marriage that I did three just to make tremendous children until we finally got, frankly, the biggest and best one Barron with Melania.

            But Mr. Clean's been very unfair to us with the shrinkflation with the erasers. And I said, well, where's Mrs. Clean?? And I found out, turns out, there isn't one. He's a "confirmed bachelor" folks! That's okay... they can do marriage now, and possibly divorce just like ordinary folks. But there might be a second Mr. Clean in the future, if you know what I mean and possibly that might be... not so bad. But the Biden shrinkflation with the erasers is killing our country. Just killing us.

  • Hexboare [they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    This reads more like he's dead and the intern team is trying to keep up with the content

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      3 months ago

      Every accusation a confession.

      If you place a map of MAGA country over a map of where you find all the worst places for crime and poverty among white people in particular, it's a near perfect overlap.

      It's like how Alberta in Canada is the most right wing province and is also a hellhole to live in.

  • TheDoctor [they/them]
    ·
    3 months ago

    My favorite part is that Obama’s official nickname is just his full name like Trump is Obama’s angry mother

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 months ago

      Nominative determinism don't fail him now. After all, he's le epic TRUMP card. Get it? GET IT?

    • BelieveRevolt [he/him]
      ·
      3 months ago

      Barack HUSSEIN Obama was the chud equivalent of Drumpf like 15 years ago, I guess it's an epic burn because his middle name is the same as Saddam's last name? Never made sense to me and was cringe.

  • Awoo [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    This "Komrade Kamala" act is not gonna work out for him. It took 4 years of "Comrade Corbyn" for it to catch up with him and he's a legitimate target for communist accusations lmao, it's not fast or effective enough as an attack.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 months ago

      I dare say a fair number of kids would consider being called "Komrade" to be, well, kool. sicko-zoomer

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
    ·
    3 months ago

    Comrade Kamala is pretty okay. But I think it's a bit pandering. When you're talking about people being tiny, liars, sleepy, etc. I think Hyena Harris would get you further. If you had sauce you could riff about how she laughs (noting that making fun of someone's laugh is a surefire way to make them stop doing it so it's a really rude thing to do). You'd transition to talking about how she's on good drugs, how the Crakkker HouSSe was giving drugs out like candy and go straight into how much you hate Obamnacare. If you're feeling yourself one day, you can talk about how they were giving away more drugs than the crack epidemic and really drive that wedge issue - catch some people lacking with some red-brown rhetoric.

    Honestly, the Trump campaign should put me, a communist, in charge of their PR strategy. I'd put the lib campaign into the fucking garbage can with this shit.

  • REgon [they/them]
    ·
    3 months ago

    He doesn't have the sauce anymore, he's lost the Mandate of Twitter. Mandate of Posting? Mandate of 4chan? How would one refer to the mandate of heaven by way of terminally online edgelords? The Mandate of Groypers? He still has them though. The Mandate of The Trenchcoat Mafia?