Been not posting for a bit for bad-feeling reasons and now this
Shit just keeps getting worse and worse 
One antigen test (all I had/can afford) is negative but I'm almost certain its covid cuz my friend I see all the time is sick and someone they live with has a confirmed case :(
I have never felt more doomer in my life, can't stop thinking about not living
I don't want to get worse anymore
At least this time I don't feel so sick
When I had COVID last time, I felt similar this way as well, but I think anxiety is normal symptom or side effect of the symptoms.
If you're scared of COVID, I think the best solution is to get vaccinated regularly. I don't feel like going through that again and I also have some worries about the long term effects, so I'm planning to get mine soon and having one every year.
Vaccines are useful tools but they are not a perfect solution, and people should still be taking other measures such as masking and avoiding in-person events whenever possible. Additionally, as vaccines lose effectiveness and the most prominent variants tend to change over time, people should be getting a booster every 6 months.
Also just a pet peeve but most people aren't "scared" of COVID, they're accurately realizing that we're in the midst of an ongoing pandemic and mass disabling event and feeling despair.
Thank you for highlighting the importance of masking, pointing out that "scared" isn't the right word, and pushing against minimizing rhetoric.