12 hours later: I'm out of even nonsense ideas. PC is ewaste, be a year or two before I can afford a cheap one from Walmart or smth. I sometimes amaze myself, followed a straightforward installer so wrong it killed my PC. That's actual talent, really.
Least I still got the phone.
Installed Nobura so wrong it killed my windows install, isn't installed, and I can't install any os to any drive
If I get my computer back up I am learning the lesson I am too incompetent for linux
This is a total replacement of original title and body text
do you have another computer around with a spare slot to pop one of those drives into? that would allow you to use cmd to clean the drive and give it the correct formatting for installing Windows
Nope
If you still have windows on the drive you can use a windows boot drive and potentially might be able to recover it and the boot files.
Otherwise the drive can be wiped and setup again using diskpart https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/forum/all/how-to-format-hard-disk-during-installation-of/cc409a0a-5c64-4fa4-951a-061b8a4215b6
I hope there isn't important data in the drive. If you have something to backup your data with I'd suggest that first
Already tried wiping the drive with gparted usb, tried installing to a backup empty drive with all the rest disconnected. Tried the cmos button.
Prolly just have a wrong boot usb but can't make another. I'll see about buying one in a few months
Please send your laptop to 1000 Colonial Farm Road, Langley, VA 22101 for complimentary laptop repair. We can fix it for you by Thursday.