Couple months ago I met a woman who works at a dispensary I visit about once a week. We hit it off really well. Despite trying to just keep it casual sex, and that only, I ended up developing some feelings for her. She confessed the same to me. I even introduced her to my teenaged daughter, for fucks sake.

I ran into her this evening at a gas station, with another guy, who turns out to be her husband. They’ve been married five years, and have two children together, ages 4 and 2. Finding out they have kids just made me feel disgusting.

So, I told him. He didnt believe me until I described a tattoo in a somewhat intimate place on her body. I had no fucking clue she was married. I think I ruined someone’s marriage. Or at least took part in ruining one.

I feel guilty. I am sorry for what I participated in. Am I a bad person?

  • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
    ·
    1 month ago

    there is a non-trivial chance that this woman now gets battered because of OP. he could have not acted emotionally and taken steps to ensure that wasn't a possibility.

      • imogen_underscore [it/its, she/her]
        ·
        1 month ago

        blaming the woman for the theoretical actions of her theoretically murderous husband, nice. not engaging with this misogynistic nonsense. tbh women in cishet relationships cheating is basically nbd anyway, couldn't care less.

          • SadArtemis [she/her]
            ·
            1 month ago

            Stalin definitely fucked though stalin-heart

            Also, no offense but please, touch grass and consider the human element of things. Cheating generally sucks but there's a whole world of circumstances out there (many of which are far more common than you'd like to know) which would excuse or even justify it in varying degrees, and even if we're to assume uncharitable things, they're still human beings (who have messed up in doing very human things).

              • keepcarrot [she/her]
                ·
                1 month ago

                Idk, I've been in pretty controlling abusive situations and it's taken me a long time to be open about them, even to my therapists. I don't think that's a level of duplicity that means my abuser is right for abusing me. That sort of situation makes a person cagey as hell and terrified of losing any social connections outside of the abusive relationship.

                It might be nothing, maybe the couple actually do this all the time and nothing untoward is happening at all, but it happens often enough that it's worth not jumping the gun.