I would LOVE to be able to branch out, but as much as I’ve tried in my almost 30 years, it always ends as nothing but a wet fart. Most of the people who I do vibe with (and who tolerate me) exist in the form of potential romantic interests and it just doesn’t work out. I can’t find that “line” of platonicness and romance. From that perspective then, I guess it makes sense why my friendships/commections ceased formation in my adolescence. Doesn’t make it suck any less though lolololol

  • Chapo_is_Red [he/him]
    ·
    21 days ago

    I've made some close friends in my 20s and 30s, though it becomes harder. I suspect there are a variety of factors for this (atomization under capitalism doesn't help, needless to say). In any case, people become more guarded and have less time. I think to develop a really deep friendship takes disclosure of things we normally keep hidden. Just having shared interests or goals isn't enough.

    Disclosure is also part of romantic relationships, which would be my guess your uncertainty regarding the "line"

    • stigsbandit34z [they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      21 days ago

      Just having shared interests or goals isn't enough.

      This is probably the hardest pill to swallow tbh. It’s not like I haven’t tried to find people who share the same interests as me, but there’s never a “spark” comparable to the existing relationships

      And the spark is almost an implicit one for the long lasting relationships I’m talking about

    • iie [they/them, he/him]
      ·
      21 days ago

      also, I think youth is more emotionally vivid, and emotional experiences form stronger friendships

      • bigboopballs [he/him]
        ·
        20 days ago

        youth is more emotionally vivid

        I wonder if that's true, and if it has to be like that

        • iie [they/them, he/him]
          ·
          19 days ago

          it definitely doesn't have to be like that. Adult life does not need to be a hamster wheel of drudgery for society to function.