What job do you try to get?
I think I'd go for some kind of science officer. I'm watching a scene right now where one is melting stuff and then holding the fumes under glass for whatever reason. Seems up my alley
And ma'am you specifically requested that the dinosaur balls be of suitable diameter. Please define "suitable" in cubic centimeters.
I'd like to research alien animals. A xenobiologist or whatever it's called.
If it's a plant then that falls under botany for whatever reason.
Xenolinguist seems rad as hell, even with the universal translator
Data: “Commander, perhaps we should consult the ship’s xenolinguist on this matter before there is a tragic misunderstanding.”
Riker: “Hell no, that guy is a nerd”
Riker didn't give a shit about communication with the Tamarians cause they didn't look fuckable.
Might not have taken the better part of the episode to just google the phrases though.
It's a machine learning thing along with an archive of every known language in full working in tandem. there's actually a DS9 episode where they meet a race from the Gamma quadrant early on and the translator takes a while to work fully
Xenoarchaeology would be fun getting to study alien cultures that could even have been more advanced then the federation. Always a chance of getting vaporised though.
Having watched zero episodes of star trek I'm going to say cafeteria dishwasher.
The cafeteria and dishwasher were both replaced by machines a long time ago. You just pop your food into the replicator and it breaks it all down to base elements to use for other shit later
Yeah that's still a thing. It falls under engineering weirdly enough.
I'd program the replicators and be like, a cultural liason with regard to food that delegations need
You'd wield a lot of power behind the scenes. You can get the mac n cheese that's baked and has the breadcrumbs on top
Lower decks is fun but like, feels beta canon
I dont see why crewmen can't get fancy mac and cheese
It does bit that's fine by me if it's not too huge of a stretch since it is a comedy. Picard doesn't have that excuse.
Good answer, those outfits rock. You get an optional blue labcoat as well. If you're a counselor you can wear whatever you want as long as Captain Jellico isn't around.
Medical, probably. Wave a tri-corder over a broken bone and stick it in the healing tube. Done.
If there's a plague aboard the ship you're usually the last person to catch it as well
I feel like working in medical would be the best way to never want to leave the ship. Just seeing every redshirt come back with some horrifying mangled limb or unknown space malady like once a week.
Some counseling gig. I've worked in mental health and Starfleet would let me help in ways that aren't just bandaging damage caused by capitalism.
Instead damage caused by spending 25 years in prison in a half hour or getting your brain taken over by aliens every month
Cargo holds. If Picard aids the Cardassias in their fight against the Bajorans, we can strike and the whole ship shuts down.
It always seemed weird to me that there weren't any JAG officers, or Federation lawyers, permanently assigned to ships - they always have to get random officers to fill those roles. I understand that the writers wouldn't want that for plot reasons, but why don't they have somebody on board whose sole purpose is to interpret the Prime Directive and shit? Again, for the purposes of television it wouldn't be fun for a space lawyer to pop out and tell Picard, "Uhm, actually, the most recent decision passed down from the Federation Judicial Branch says you shouldn't let your android send letters to an alien girl on a dying planet," but still, it seems like it would be really necessary to have a legal scholar handy. Anyways, that space lawyer from TOS was a cool guy, can I be him?
There are JAG officers the jerk lady in The Drumhead was one and I think there was one in the TOS episode Court Martial. Everything is logged by computer so they show up when they need to do a thing. Also writers forget they exist most of the time so they can use the main cast.
Actually I was just watching the commentary track for Measure of a Man earlier today and Malinda Snodgrass, who wrote the episode, has a law degree and was a lawyer before she started writing.
There is the argument that Picard or whoever the commanding officer is would have sufficient training to deal with most low level legal issues (marriages, division of property, punitive measures), what about the other stuff? There are legal specialists, do we imagine that most command officers have rudimentary legal training?
Considering how often they act as legal agents they must have some training in that field.
I actually think it would be cool to have all legal issues dealt with by a massive cadre of command officers, but there are legal specialists, and there are judges, and when Sisko is taking Dukat to the grand jury we learn there are Federation courts (at least dealing with war criminals). I suppose the best rationalization is that starships are islands of the law and the commanding officer is the judge, jury, and executioner (RIP Tuvix).
I mean I know they exist - but it seems from the functional aspect, you'd want one on the ship all the time. Their exclusion from the universe does seem like a willful ignorance on the part of the writers for sure.
Engineering. The gold shirts were always my favourite characters, bar none: Chief O'Brien and Geordi LaForge in particular. Always wanted a job like that, just fixing stuff for a living, solving practical problems. Don't have the chance to IRL, would love to in Starfleet.
That's probably my none joke answer. I'd pretty much be O'Brien but less good at it.
What ever sort of specialist would let me go on the most away missions.
Red security dude from the original series. They saw lots of away missions.
Yeah that's what I was thinking, not in charge of anything important but still get to see all the new planets. Guess I'd probably die fast but it would be worth it.
If it's TOS it's more like I'm going to go around eating whatever vegetation I see and then I'm gonna stick my finger in mud and smear it on my eyeballs then wash it out in the nearest stagnant puddle
I think being the pilot would be cool. That or a tactical officer.
Also being a medical officer would be sick too
Helm control is neat and you barely ever need to do anything but input coordinates and keep an eye on the sense-oars
