"Harry, you look different," said Hermione as I joined her and Ron in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express.
I suppose I did. I was wearing an ushanka with a Red Star, a Che Guevara T-shirt, and browline glasses. I had grown a scruffy beard and had had my scar changed from a lightning bolt to a hammer and sickle.
"Why are you wearing a shirt with that murderer on it?" asked Hermione as I sat down.
"He's not a murderer, he's a soldier," I explained. "I'd be offended, but I know you've been brainwashed by the bourgeoisie capitalist establishment. You're suffering from false consciousness."
"What's false consciousness?" asked Ron curiously. I knew he would be more open to communist ideas because he was part of the proletariat, whereas Hermione was part of the bourgeois intelligentsia.
"False consciousness is when people think communism is bad," I explained. "Since communism is good, it means they're obviously insane."
"Harry, are you a communist?" asked Hermione in a quiet voice. I could tell she was scared, probably of losing her private property.
"As a matter of fact, I am!" I said, knowing I had nothing to be ashamed of. "Uncle Vernon was complaining about communists one day and I decided that anyone hated by Uncle Vernon couldn't be that bad. So I read The Communist Manifesto and discovered how the world really worked."
"But — but," said Hermione, at a loss for words, "President Reagan said the Soviet Union was the evil empire. He wouldn't have said that if it weren't true!"
I signed, wondering if Hermione was too deep in false consciousness to ever come around to the correct way of thinking.
Read the whole thing here lol
“False consciousness is when people think communism is bad,” I explained. “Since communism is good, it means they’re obviously insane.”
Kinda right though.
my god it has ML vs anarchist conflict and it pretends to be volcel in a really weird way
What are we going to do about that fucking racist Professor McGonagall?" asked the incredibly exotic Parvati Patil as sexy tears poured down her face. "What she did was really offensive to my fucking Indian heritage!"
"It's the true face of capitalism," I explained gravely. "British colonization of India never really ended. Now they imperialistically exploit the Indian proletariat by giving them our fucking jobs! It's slavery!"
"You've got that right!" Parvati sobbed in a gorgeous exploited way. I stepped forward and gave her a big manly kiss on the lips. Ginny didn't feel jealous at all because she understood I was doing it to bring comradely joy a fellow proletarian and not because I was attracted to Parvati or anything.
Wait till you get to the part with Trotskyites.
While it's obviously a troll fic, the author does have above-average knowledge of communist theory so I doubt they are a rightist.
I totally get that. Writing from the heart is for losers who can't directly communicate with people, write from some made up person's heart who is in the damn story
Yeah, agreed, the author seems to be trolling on multiple levels but it's rare for anti-communists to know so much about this shit. I read several pages and lol'd several times on each page.
asked the incredibly exotic Parvati Patil as sexy tears poured down her face
:blocky-wat:
My favorite part of this is where he casually mentions that he has changed his middle name to Pol.
Harry Pol Potter also laments that Vietnamese reactionaries stole Cambodia’s independence in 1979 :(
Yeah, we'll do just fine without him.
Fuck off Harry, no one cares.
I happened to look like book cover Harry Potter to some extent at 11 when I think there were only two books out or so, no movies. Anyway people thought I was going for that look and not that every 11 year old with glasses looks like Harry Potter.
They're legit good hats. Pretty much every Canadian toddler has one at some point.
"Mr. Potter, that kind of language is not allowed in school," McGonagall said capitalistly. "Neither is the image of Che Guevara, the hammer and sickle, or other symbols of hate."
You know how people speak Capitalistly?
This is 191 chapters long, is this the 'theory' everyone has been going on about?
I suppose I did. I was wearing an ushanka with a Red Star, a Che Guevara T-shirt, and browline glasses.
:LIB:
