Hello my fellow Chapos! How have you been?

You gaze into the blue light of the device your are using to read these words, slowly feeling your will to live being sapped by he continued weight of existence in Late Capitalist America

Ha ha fantastic. Well, we now have a distinct visual of who will be leading us in the continual rightward march towards the coming Fascist Revolution that will consume us all in complete nuclear hellfire, a German-Irish mummy and a Trans-phobic cop. Those wacky checks notes "progressives".

If you're like me, the urge to bother to vote has almost completely vanished ever since the void that is YAAASSS QUEEEN and "Dementia Patient Afraid of Immigrants" Twitter has provided you with ample fuel to give up on the human race and walk into a large body of water with your pockets full of stones. However, there is a silver lining that might compel you to vote for the literal Abbott and Costello routine your corporate overlords have given you permission to vote for.

American Politics has been a farce for decades. We've had a TV Cowboy, Rapey Jazz Man, Cocaine Cowboy, and Failed Game Show Host as the leaders of this country, and sure they've been ridiculous, awful, and gradually laid the foundations for a stunning fourth Reich starring America; but have they been funny? Trump was the first truly funny modern president. I say was, because he's just lost it folx. Gone are the days where he'd wax poetic about how he could have slept with Cheryl Tiegs and how hair spray is dog shit now while millions of Oakley shaded and sunburned pigs hoopled in agreement. A better SNL skit there could not be, and I know because SNL tried to recreate it, and it was dog shit, always dog shit. But what does Trump talk about now? Now it's Covid this and mail-in voting that, for months! Get some new fucking material Donny sheesh.

But all is not lost, for we can go back to laughing as our society crumbles around us and more my friends. Because I ask you, with all sincerity, do you think Joe Biden currently remembers that there is a pandemic going on right now? Of course not. He thinks he's back at his first sock hop back in 1957, and if you vote for him that's what you'll have in store for the next four years minimum. Every state of the nation address will become a wonderful game of guess what the fuck he'll talk about next, and what obscure racial slur did he just call the waiter this time. A Biden presidency stands to be one of the most hilarious in American history, a proverbial Eric Andre bit brought to life through the collapse of empire.

However, many of you will say "but we need to slow the spread of fascism". To that I say "that fight is over". Whether Biden or Trump wins in 2020 the Democratic base will learn nothing. If Biden wins, they will believe right-wing centrism is the way, and if Trump wins they will blame us. Either way, the right will grow stronger, and the next guy they get in, in 2024, will actually be a competent fascist, probably the "My Pillow" guy. Your boomer and GenXer liberal relatives will not now nor ever see the light, and the best thing you can do is hope you don't get put in the same death camp as them. So, you don't have to listen to them talk about how it's all Bernie's fault.

It's ultimately up to personal taste whether I've convinced you or not. Do you prefer to watch a shitty SNL skit that was pretty good before but has outstayed its funniness, or do you want to get baked and watch a fresh and new slightly ad-lib Eric Andre bit every night? Whatever you choose I have one question to ask, what if we held hands while America ends. (ﾟｪﾟ)

TL;DR: I think a Biden Presidency would be funnier Than a second Trump term