Edit: What terms might you use instead of "Nazi sympathizing?"

I lost a friend to the Nazi movement. I'm not white, and I imagine all the time if I could use his racism to fetishize me until I get enough anti racist propaganda across and he leaves the Nazi movement. I didn't realize how horrifyingly sad this was until I tried looking up the search term "romance stories" and shit like, German soldier falls for Jewish woman or racist falls for black woman, showed up.

Half the time I hope his antivax ass dies of a disease, and I hate his guts. The other half I try to think up of ways he's so attracted to me, he sits in for anything I have to say until he's convinced into respecting me, and being on my side of history.

I don't think anyone fetishizes their way into fully respecting someone. My imagined scenarios would be dumb and potentially dangerous.

At the end of the day, I never want to see him again. I don't want to hate him, feel grief about losing him, or imagine these scenarios. I just want to be.