I met some long time friends for pizza and beer tonight and i thought it was a fun night but right before we parted ways the two of them held an intervention with me. They said i was bringing up "socialist stuff" too much and it was making them depressed. They said to keep the conversation exclusively to things like games and anime. That if i didnt stop they didnt want to be friends anymore. Have you guys/gals/nonbinary pals experienced something like this before?
They won't admit to anything going on, and won't even admit to it being about veganism despite this only happening after i became vegan and them still making defensive or snide comments about vegans sometimes lol. Fucking sucks because they're also decently left, so you'd think they could at least be chill, but nah they went straight into reactionary defensive territory and now posting memes about how avoiding plastic use isn't worth it because bezos generates more pollution or whatever. Which might be true but avoiding single use-plastics is still a good thing to do???
Also, all their grocery stores nearby (less than 3 min drive) have tofu for cheaper than animal products, and a few other fully vegan alt products including plant milks and of course, the classic beans and rice. They also know how to cook, have a fully stocked kitchen, and like to experiment with new recipes. I have observed them making several vegan recipes without realizing, such as stuff with beans or spaghetti & marinara, fried bread. So they could easily choose to prepare me (if not everyone) a vegan meal and invite me to any of these events again. They have not. I think they keep waiting me to stop being vegan someday but it's been 6 years at this point and i'm still healthier than ever and more committed to animal rights than ever so....
What hurts most of all isn't the being silently pushed out, it's that people i thought were cool suddenly acting like shitstains. I have a other non-vegan friends who don't act like this, we just kinda don't talk about it except making sure i have food to eat. Which honestly at this point i'm grateful for. But yeah I just didn't expect my family to be the ones who were acting shitty.
So the number one most anti vegan person in my life is my brother. When my mum told me that he tried to go vegan cold turkey in his teens but couldn't, everything came together. He couldn't deal with him not being able to go vegan. Honestly I couldn't care less, and I'd love to support him. But sibling rivalry is a thing.
People enjoy their food a lot, and it pains them to give it up. This isn't your fault.
Anyhow, your actual fucking family not inviting you over is nuts. Honestly I'd connect and tell them your feelings. It's seriously terrible what they're doing.
Anyhow, thanks for doing what you're doing for the animals :avoheart:
Aww thanks for being so nice. Yeah, i tried to talk to them and they denied it and then acted like i was a being a problem for bringing up not being invited. One of them actually said i was treating him like a "punching bag" for bringing it up. lol so yeah i basically cut off most contact after that because holy fuck, and my mental health improved dramatically.
That sounds super problematic. The gaslighting is huge here. People with low emotionally maturity get super defensive when you try to talk about stuff. Honestly, the fucked up thing is that he probably convinced himself that he is the victim here.
I don't know what your family dynamic is, but it's obviously unhealthy. Maybe you'll start to figure shit out as you progress through life. Honestly I don't talk to my family at all, I don't recommend it but it works well for my mental health.
setting boundaries has worked at least somewhat thankfully. Thanks for your kind words <3