mine are fairly tame as far as these stories go. i had a point in my life that was hard, materially. not like living out of my car, but maybe a half step up. washing my dishes at an outdoor spigot, living in an illegal domicile, constantly getting screwed by mega rich people out of 20-30 bucks. right at the edge of disaster. if i would have gotten injured in those days, i would have been fucked.

now i'm the kind of traumatized monkey who won't let go of one branch without a strong grasp on another.

my best, such as it is, i was at this meeting of department heads. i was the head of my own department, which consisted of 1 person: me. there used to be 4 people in it, but they all left and all of their responsibilities became mine as i was "promoted". my job title went from having 2 words in it to having 6 words in it. and i got no additional income for my trouble, also i was doing shit that i didn't want to do anymore, professionally. so i leveraged the situation into getting another job offer. it took me several weeks, sneaking off to do interviews, etc.

so there i am at this department head meeting, and it comes to me in the rotation "What's new in your department, Kmart?" so i say, "Well, as of this morning I have accepted a job offer with [organization] for a 40% pay increase and [benefit highlight reel]. My last day is [x] and I won't be attending any more of these meetings." a couple of burnt out older ladies i got along with chuckled quietly, but the rest of the room was tense as fuck with shock. i guess i had played my cards pretty close to the vest or they thought i was the kind of person who was just going to take it and limp along, grateful for having relatively secure employment.