“A federal agent’s hand was impaled by planted nails, another federal agent was shot by a pellet gun leaving a wound deep to the bone and tragically three federal officers were likely left permanently blinded by the rioters,” said McEnany, who also accused protesters of barricading officers inside the courthouse and launching fireworks at them.
I also read other sources reporting that several officers have had meticulously placed anvils fall on them flattening them completely.
My understanding is leftists have been littering the streets with rakes, sometimes cunningly placing two of them head to head, so that federal officers are unable to move without hitting themselves in the face with rakes.
Reports are surfacing of Portland antifa dressing up as smoking hot dames and luring drooling officers into alleyways, then removing their dresses and crushing them with comically oversized mallets.
I also read other sources reporting that several officers have had meticulously placed anvils fall on them flattening them completely.
My understanding is leftists have been littering the streets with rakes, sometimes cunningly placing two of them head to head, so that federal officers are unable to move without hitting themselves in the face with rakes.
Reports are surfacing of Portland antifa dressing up as smoking hot dames and luring drooling officers into alleyways, then removing their dresses and crushing them with comically oversized mallets.
You've got some decent fanfic there if you develop it. Probably a big market for that mood among conservatives.