Unfortunately the actual article is dogshit. Although it is funny how unbelievably trite it is.

  • Woly [any]
    hexagon
    ·
    3 years ago

    Lmao this fucking article

    There were fewer puppets on Sesame Street than before, but that was for the best. Not all of them had been loyal. Some of them had objected to the fact that the street formerly known as Sesame Street (it was now Victory Plaza) had been the site of so many public puppet decommissionings. But Big Bird assured them that if they did not get rid of thought traitors, the Paw Patrol would come for them. (They had always been at war with the Paw Patrol.)

    • Woly [any]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      Jesus Christ

      “Bert,” Grover said, more urgently. “My good friend Ernie is gone. I have lost one of you." (Ernie’s picture appeared on the screen with a big X through it. “One!” chanted an offscreen chorus.) “I cannot lose both of you.” (Ernie’s and Bert’s pictures both appeared on the screen. ”Two!" the chorus shouted.) “Hurry, Bert!”

      Bert dragged himself to the window to salute just as the parade passed by.

      “I remember when he was a little bird,” Grover said.

      Bert shook his head. “He was a big bird then. He has never been a littler bird than he is now.”

  • richietozier4 [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Big Bird was always watching

    :nineteeneightyfour: but a furry (feathery? Beaky?)