• Break up with her. She’s cheating on you, and even if she wasn’t, that feeling you get when she tells you she’s on the way home is “Dread” and is not how you should feel about an SO.

• Work out. This one’s hard to give as advice cause I’m still bad at it now.

• Don’t start smoking weed all day every day just because it’s a pandemic and you have nothing else to do. Weed can be addictive and all the people who said it isn’t are dirty liars.

• Never buy pre-grated parmesan cheese. Freshly grated is infinitely better.

• Brush and floss your god damn teeth.