Also there was always a latent thought in the back of my head that life can’t just be this way “because it is” I refused to accept that no matter how many times I was told.
Holy shit this really hits home for me. I have said those exact words so many times. One time I said it to my lawyer / mentor friend and he asked me, "So what should life be like?" It stopped me dead in my tracks because for the first time I realized that I didn't have an answer. Like, any answer at all. I hadn't even thought about what the answer should be, I was just working toward some unspecified "better" without having any sort of picture of what that would mean. Studying theory is the only thing that's filled that hole in my thinking.
Holy shit this really hits home for me. I have said those exact words so many times. One time I said it to my lawyer / mentor friend and he asked me, "So what should life be like?" It stopped me dead in my tracks because for the first time I realized that I didn't have an answer. Like, any answer at all. I hadn't even thought about what the answer should be, I was just working toward some unspecified "better" without having any sort of picture of what that would mean. Studying theory is the only thing that's filled that hole in my thinking.