Holy shit this became a stream-of-consciousness jumbled collection of nothingness

Genuinely, the most basic shit that I never really had problems with— the slightest details regarding my responses when someone texts me, the barely noticeable aspects about myself in public, whether I’m saying too much/too little, whether I’m responding appropriately, etc. So as a result, I choose to stay within my comfort zone as much as possible because anything else is mentally destructive. But then that doesn’t work because I get my energy from talking with other people who are similar to me :/ (Shared this shit with my therapist and he asked me if I have considered autism which of course I have)

Idk I think it started to get bad when I started to go out into the world again when society at large decided there was no longer a pandemic (there is btw). I decided to go out into the world as a young adult having had very little of a social life in college and experienced rejection after rejection, be it romantic or when trying to make friends. So maybe I never really learned to process those emotions appropriately.

Maybe all of this will be solved when I can learn to stop being a pushover/people pleaser. Or maybe I just suck at communicating and/or am utter shit at kindling friendships/potential relationships who knows

One example that sticks out in my mind- I have a friend who I occasionally hang out with (not a very close one I’d say). But I will ask them if they want to grab a beer once in awhile, they’ll oblige and I’ll ask them what time works best for them. Idk if this is the middle school/teenage part of me, but I refuse to follow-up with people (double text) because I don’t want to be a burden. But then this friend will respond weeks later and profusely apologize for not responding. But like I could’ve prevented that by just following up with them, I don’t know what it is in me that refuses to do so though but I just cannot.

  • infuziSporg [e/em/eir]
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    edit-2
    9 months ago

    I refuse to follow-up with people (double text) because I don’t want to be a burden. But then this friend will respond weeks later and profusely apologize for not responding. But like I could’ve prevented that by just following up with them, I don’t know what it is in me that refuses to do so though but I just cannot.

    Consider that maybe they're bad at keeping track of things and follow-through too. They want you to remind them! It shows them how much you care, and they will probably thank you for it.

    You may be over-self-critical, possibly mixed in with perfectionism. All I can tell you is that it's likely that letting more stuff through your filters is going to benefit other people.

    If they really didn't like you, they'd ghost you instead of replying late. Just about everybody needs reminders sometimes.