I ticked all the boxes in high school. Ironic-but-not-really fascist, incel, anti-LGBT, anti-abortion, pick a reaction, really. Now I’m happily married, father, Kinsey-1, reading theory, with growing class consciousness and looking to build solidarity with those people that a worse version of myself once dismissed as lesser or ungodly. It took leaving home, developing positive and loving male-male friendships, and being told that I was good enough and worth love irrespective of my accomplishments for me to start to develop the capacity to love others in the same way. Those who have traveled a similar path, what did it take for you?
Watching my single mother work full-time as a school teacher, work nights at the local grocery store and weekends at the local video-rental place, only to lose her house during the financial crisis. Who was then forced to move into a shitty apartment that was owned by her high-school bully, and that parasitic scum made my mom's life a living hell (e.g. a/c would break during the summer and go at least a month before being fixed, which in OK was begging for a heat stroke). There were no other apartments in our small town, so she felt stuck. Who then, after she retired, still had to work the two part time jobs because my sister developed a rare illness that the insurance companies refused to cover, and since she was only a college student at the time had no way to pay for it, so my mother took care of her. Even after all of this, what truly radicalized me were my former lib friends and lib/chud family members trying to tell me that was just the way the world worked, and maybe if my mom worked harder, then she would finally be successful and good things would happen. That it wasn't THEIR fault she lost her house to predatory practices, that it wasn't THEIR fault my sister became sick so they shouldn't have to pay for others either, that it wasn't THEIR fault the landlord rights in OK were so fucked up. All of this happened while I was in high school, and the cruelty in their indifference gave me rage and convictions I've carried with me 15 years later.
edit: sorry for the syntax; I'm typing this between classes.
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