Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/rpusfv/lpt_dont_fall_for_the_selfmade_myth_selfmade_is_a/hq6pn0s

The whole thread is trash and just filled with contrarian assholes with their stories of survivor bias. This definitely takes the cake though. Raise your hand if you're an inumemp!

    • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
      ·
      3 years ago

      I think they're saying there's a fundamental difference between a person who is unlucky with a love life and an incel. The former understands their position as unfortunate, but ultimately knows that there's more to life. An incel is someone who makes their lack of sex an aspect of their identity and has a malformed sense of self-worth because of it. The circumstance of "isn't having sex" doesn't necessarily inform a person about the world, but an incel is someone who isn't listening to reason any longer.

        • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
          ·
          3 years ago

          Oh, I don't have a solution for gaining social purchase and finding love. It's completely miserable to be excluded from a love life and I really don't mean to say it's simply an aw shucks thing. It's debilitating to be excluded from one of the primary human experiences. There really isn't a solution other than simply recognizing the situation you're in and hoping for the best. There's dating advice, but I'm the wrong person there. The solution certainly isn't applying some completely awful evolutionary psychology mumbo jumbo and hating women.

          At best I can offer you an analysis that says with increasing concentration of capital and less time to ourselves, we're losing a social dimension and becoming lonelier, which certainly can't help. Falling in love or simply having sex usually do come down to a matter of complete luck though. There are things that can increase your chances, like meeting a lot of people, but there isn't a surefire way of simply making people like you.

          Incels have decided there are ways to make people like you and it involves horse shit like skull shape, magic pickup lines, and walking in certain ways.

          I don't know you at all, but I hope your life becomes less stressful soon. You can DM me to talk whenever you like. I'm often stressed out too, but I can at least try to offer someone to talk to.

    • SuperNovaCouchGuy [any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      I mean that there is no real material basis for "inceldom" as a state of being that would make it exist as an external structure which is traumatically imposed upon the individual subject by greater forces. It is a constructed identity based on the creation of a "master-slave" dialectic between the incel and "women", (see CCK Philosophy's video on Incels). The incel sees all women as a robotic hivemind fundamentally lacking individuality, hates this hivemind, yet yearns for its acceptance to affirm his own humanity since he recognizes (either implicitly or explicitly) that he has subordinated the very nature of his existence to the judgement of "women".

      Of course there is also the issue of determining to what extent "inceldom" was created by the cultural forces at play within imperialist nations (because this is where the phenomenon started after all). I remember an excellent post made by someone a while back about how incels are not so different from the type of men who join fraternities, it is only that one had sex, the other did not. The underlying thought and view towards women as both trophies and a hiveminded measure of masculine worth are very similar after all.

      All in all its the result of the anti-human, competitive, individualistic culture created by neoliberalism.

      Interestingly this also says more about the plebbitors who proposed "career inceldom", because, in a sense, if they identify themselves somewhere on this spectrum, then they have subordinated their own self worth to the eldritch gaze of the market.