I'm asking from a place of genuine curiousity, as a bi trans woman I ask myself this question regularly and never quite settle on an answer. I suppose the key question I ask myself is was I born trans and spent 25 years figuring it out, or was it something that developed and grew as I matured?
My inspiration for this question is this video: https://www.ted.com/talks/dr_lisa_diamond_why_the_born_this_way_argument_does_not_advance_lgbt_equality
Obviously I don't think it matters, lgbtq rights and legitmacy shouldn't be tied to the idea that "they can't help it, they were born that way", it's just the right thing to support. And even if it isn't something you are born with that doesn't automatically make it a "choice" that one could consciously change (or be tortured, a la conversion therapy, out of), there are many parts of my identity that I wasn't born with but are now core parts of me.
Idk, I'm interested to hear others' thoughts. I feel as if my self-discovery was somewhat delayed because I had the idea that if I were trans, I would absolutely know because it'd be some core part of me that I was born with, and how could you be ignorant of that? I feel like, if someone told me at 18 "You know you can choose to be a girl if you want" and showed me a picture of post-transition me, I'd probably would've started questioning then instead of years later. In some ways I feel as if I chose to be trans, but is it really a choice if I would pick the same answer every time? Was I predetermined to choose to transition? Could there be a person born gay/trans, but never realize it? Would they still be gay/trans if neither they nor anyone else knew it?
And what about the future? Lately I've been thinking that an identity like non-binary or agender might fit me better. Does that mean I've been wrongly interpreting my true self? Ultimately whether there's some true, fixed identity buried deep in my psyche and I'm just trying to interpret it, or if that doesn't exist and my identity is just this fluid thing I consciously construct and am constantly revisiting, I think the outcome is the same. Personally, I prefer the idea that my gender identity and sexuality are fluid, ever-changing things that evolve as I grow and experience the world. I'd like to have it where I didn't feel shame or guilt when I continue to question my gender or sexuality after already coming out. I'd like to be able to enjoy my pre-transition memories as a legitimate part of me and my journey, rather than a false me that should be buried away and seldom talked about.
I realize this is a very subjective experience, and other people will relate differently to the things I wrote about. I'm not trying to prescribe a certain way to approach this topic, I'm just interested to hear other people's thoughts on the matter. Solidarity forever comrades.
:hexbear-pride: :flag-bi-pride: :flag-gay-pride: :flag-gay-pride-mlm: :flag-pan-pride: :flag-demi-pride: :flag-trans-pride: :hexbear-gay-pride: :flag-agender-pride: :flag-asexual-pride: :flag-lesbian-pride: :flag-aromantic-pride: :flag-non-binary-pride: :flag-genderfluid-pride: :flag-intersex-pride: :flag-genderfluid-pride: :flag-genderqueer-pride:
Right, in a sense the idea that "queer people are just born this way" just doesn't quite sit right with me. It turns gender and sexuality into essentialist categories that naturally exist and justifies the status quo.
But at the same time, does it actually matter that much? It's much easier to explain these things this way, i.e. trans people being born in the opposite sex's body, when there are so many people who literally deny that queer people exist. The fact is that humans (naturally) assigns "nature" to things they deem "valid" or "immutable". Sure we philosophy nerds can say umm akctually that isnt the case, but I feel it really is an irrelevant point outside of rigorous philosophical investigations, because everyday life is pure ideology where philosophy loses its meaning without the context. Under these situations Im more inclined to go with it, but theoretically I very much challenge the idea and I think it is interesting to think about its implications.
Final thing, sometimes I think that the ultimate goal must be to destroy the gender binary completely, not simply settling for "acceptance" of queer people. Queer people are the product of the gender binary in the way that the proleteriat is the product of capitalism. It is a contradiction that is impossible to resolve, despite this kind of "coexistence" becoming mainstream today. Of course this is extremely far off and considering humans reproduce sexually, the sheer social significance of reproduction makes gender almost inescapable in all human societies historically. But as history advances, just as how communism is inevitable, the disappearance of gender is too inevitable. Whether we live to see it is a different story, but the fact is that this is the direction that the world moves in.