Just saw someone say they're tired of being forced to pretend Lynch is any good (which was clearly just a set up to go "oh look getting harassed by the lynch bros again"). Let's see how what we can cook up.
To start: movies with any sort of abstraction or nonlinear storytelling are bad because they make you question what is real, which is a form of gaslighting
"A Chrismas Story" is destroying our children's ability to differentiate body parts from lighting fixtures.
Did you hear about that teenager who was electrocuted??
He stuck is dick in a lamp socket!