You don't seem to be getting that we don't share the same goals. I'm not in this shit to create a world that coddles the feelings of the most fragile right wing caricature of an sjw on the planet. I'm in it to create the material basis for widely-shared, justly-distributed, publicly-owned prosperity.

The ideal socialist future for me will be one where people can be courteous to each other while also having the mental strength to deal with occasionally hearing mean words, as well as building a society that recognizes that intelligence is a good thing and celebrates it. I don't consider it in any way unjust that Stephen Hawking is elevated and celebrated for his superior intellect and achievements, while my mentally disabled relative isn't (and I'm not, for that matter). Intelligence and stupidity are real things. The former is a good thing, and the latter is a bad thing, and there is no injustice that you can rationally define in affirming that fact.

When I do stupid things, I'm very rightfully ashamed of my own stupidity, and I seek to correct it, or at least watch out for it in the future. This is a good thing. It's good to be able to call things stupid, to recognize stupidity in the world, and in oneself, and in other people.

I’ve defined that harm just fine.

No, you haven't. Does "stupid" cause these people physical pain? Does it distress them to the point of self harm, or make them physically sick? If so, I'd be in favor of our future publicly-owned mental health system giving them therapy to help them deal with that pain. I would not be in favor of everyone else on the planet having to give up an incredibly useful word that accurately describes aspects of our world to ensure they never feel any psychic hurt. That's not how people become strong, productive members of society.

You already know what harm occurs when someone uses slurs that harm any other group, I think you already understand how some using nword harms black people even if they’re not using it contextually with any intent to be about race. I think you understand how using “gay” of f-slur affects lgbt people even when there’s zero intent for it to be affecting those groups. I think you understand this argument thoroughly.

The idea that "stupid" is a slur on the same level as the slurs you mention is ridiculous. It's so ridiculous that it's not even worth arguing about. People shout the n word at black people from their cars, and it can make them scared to leave their homes because their afraid of random violence. Gay people get beaten up in the street while their assaulters shout homophobic slurs at them. Trying to equate hurt feelings over something as anodyne as being called "stupid" to that is insulting. I keep telling you that A does not equal A, and you can't point at one struggle and automatically call it the equivalent of another.