https://www.theverge.com/2022/2/16/22937210/disney-residential-communities-storyliving-cotino-planned-town
Gritty murder mystery ala True Detective but set in Toon Town Florida.
Broke: there's no reason to believe aliens would even have a sense of humor, let alone one resembling ours
Woke: our sense of humor has been engineered to be identical to the aliens to provide an organic laugh track
they have a narrator that does dramatic readings of simulation theory forum arguments
many, many seasons ago the narrator did dramatic readings of theological disputes and the audience loves how long we've managed to keep the bit going
What would Disney fans who live in the Disney communities do for a living? Are they rich, and just want to use their fortunes to be 24 hour Disney fans?
No, the mouse will be the landlord and will make sure you don't do what they want to do, unless you do it for :epstein: purposes.
Lord Mickey arrives in his carriage at your modest hut. "I sure hope he doesn't need any more Mouse Bucks," you think as the carriage door opens.
Lord Mickey steps down from his carriage onto a bent over servant, then onto the ground, where he finally examines you and your humble abode. He is visibly disgusted.
"HaHa, kneel serf. Your Lord has arrived." Mickey extends his hand out in front of you, waiting for your submissive kneel and ring kiss. You deliver both with the expertise that comes from countless hours practicing in the mirror. As you avert your eyes, you manage to muster enough courage to speak, "What brings you here today, muh Lord?"
"HaHa, silence. I have come to collect dues to Mouse Kingdom, immediately, haHa." Mickey says after jerking his gloved hand from you.
"But muh Lord, there must be a mistake. I have paid my dues, I even pay extra for the "No Shake Downs Package!" As you appeal in earnest, he averts his gaze from you towards the ground and surrounding landscape.
"The Mouse does not make mistakes, haHa! These are new dues shareholders implemented yesterday, but are retroactive for the previous year, haHa."
"But, I can't pay! I have no more Mouse Bucks after the last payments." You continue to plead, appealing to his humanity, but he is a Mouse.
"I am a fair Mouse, haHa. Your wife, is quite lovely, is she not? The kingdom speaks highly of her beauty, haHa. If you cannot pay, then I must implement Noctem Recompensatio, haHa, as is my right."
You sigh and hang your head in defeat. "As is your right, muh Lord."
"HaHa, then it's settled!" He snaps his fingers, moments later one of the servants hands you a polka-dot dress and white clogs.
"Have her wear this, haHa, and tell her to arrive at Mouse House by no later than 7! Toodles!"
Another day in the magical Mouse Kingdom.
:volcel-judge: We do not joke about such terrible deeds! Now cease your sarcasm immediately and show some respect or else!
Sarcasm leads to sarjism, now turn yourself over for mandatory dehornification :volcel-judge:
It's weird how little disney is included in the imagined murican religions post-apocalypsis.
I hate that the only way we get anything close to a planned city is one of these places
it’s like the part in simulacra and simulation where baudrillard compares the disneyland parking lot to a concentration camp, but even bigger and there aren’t even any rides
Disneyland is a perfect model of all the entangled orders of simulation. To begin with it is a play of illusions and phantasms: pirates, the frontier, future world, etc. This imaginary world is supposed to be what makes the operation successful. But, what draws the crowds is undoubtedly much more the social microcosm, the miniaturized and religious revelling in real America, in its delights and drawbacks. You park outside, queue up inside, and are totally abandoned at the exit. In this imaginary world the only phantasmagoria is in the inherent warmth and affection of the crowd, and in that aufficiently excessive number of gadgets used there to specifically maintain the multitudinous affect. The contrast with the absolute solitude of the parking lot - a veritable concentration camp - is total. Or rather: inside, a whole range of gadgets magnetize the crowd into direct flows; outside, solitude is directed onto a single gadget: the automobile.
Look, if we're going full bore into cyberpunk shit can we get the aesthetics too? I want to see Disney death squads walking around with helmets that have those mouse ears on them. I want their lawyers to have their ears turned into mouse ears. I want the CEOs of the company to make themselves look just like Walt via plastic surgery. Just lean into that shit, you sick fucks.
Good. Hopefully the Disney adults flock there and leave the rest of us the fuck alone
