Marx failed to consider Remus Dogfart

  • Parsani [love/loves, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    They say that Hexbear only has enough keyboards for half of its posters, so they send people into threads in pairs, and when the first poster is banned, the second picks up his keyboard and continues posting

    yeonmi-park

    This one was at the top of my page right now, and it's a good one.

    I also enjoy the "this site could have been for the proletariat", the Maoist gf one, and the "third wordist rant at your therapist" one. So many good ones tbh.

  • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
    ·
    10 months ago

    My favorite tagline is probably always going to be the very lost liberal who said this to us:

    If you give up on Ukraine, then next comes Taiwan, South Korea, Poland, etc etc etc fucking etc.

    This. Is. An. Investment. In. Democracy.

    It's just so pure distilled liberal reddit nerd confused about what our priorities are. It's so powerful in all the wrong ways.

    • bigboopballs [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      If you give up on Ukraine, then next comes Taiwan, South Korea, Poland, etc etc etc fucking etc.

      Oh no... what comes after all that? Don't tell me.... Landlords!? Will they come for the landlords!?

  • SexMachineStalin [comrade/them]
    ·
    10 months ago

    My favourite is the "please explain to the court why you sign your posts with a picture of a pig with shit on its testicles, followed by the words Death to America".

    PIGPOOPBALLS Death to America

    • btbt [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      There’s nothing you can do to make me hit the little check mark on replies to my posts, and complaining only makes the number go up even more. How does it feel to know your futile cries just make me stronger, liberal? freedom-hater

  • Ceres [she/her]
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    edit-2
    10 months ago

    I think my two favorite that have stood the test of time are:

    I do self-criticism constantly because I’m trapped in a Maoist cult where comrades (white terrorists) criticize me mercilessly for having a fascist credit card (VISA Silver Signature Rewards)

    They won’t let me order vegan pizza anymore because the phone is fascist and “summoning my pizza slaves with a bourgeois app” is “bad vibes”

    and also

    The dive bar at the end of the universe

  • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Also,

    Probably these two:

    I hate V*ush so much the physical revulsion i feel when i hear the slimy whisper that he calls a voice is so bad that it instantly turns me into a 1970s era political lesbian that advocates for the immediate castration of all men

    And

    hexbear dunking on raddle dunking on lemmy dunking on raddle

    Honestly those ultra right-wingers are pretty bad but the ultra left-wingers are worse. And as a lefty that is pretty sad to see. But I’m probably not left enough for those on hexbear.net

  • WittyProfileName2 [she/her]
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    There's one that's, like:

    Have you got any other arguments than calling me a lib? You've already done that 15 times.

    And I feel attacked every time I see it.

  • casskaydee [she/her]
    ·
    10 months ago

    Is this going to be something like the minecraft splash text?

    • bigboopballs [he/him]
      ·
      10 months ago

      Imagine just not checking your replies/DMs for an entire year while you continue to post daily

  • Raebxeh
    ·
    10 months ago

    I hope whichever one of you smug clout chasers stole Hexbear from TC69 gets SWATed.

    A nod to some of my favorite Hexbear conspiracy theories (she famously tried to resign more times than Stalin)