Setting all of that aside, let's just pretend you're dumb enough to buy all of that garbage

Imagine a 'CIA agent' telling you 'Yeah, have 50k in a shoebox for our man' and...not asking any real questions?

Not being like 'hmm, maybe the state intelligence apparatus with a budget rivaling most small countries' GDP would use a more sophisticated technique than a single call where they tell me to stick my life savings in the box my fucking Nikes came in'?