I have family members I see every few months who are immune compromised, I don't want covid myself. I have denied myself every treat experience for two years and going on a third now. I love treats, but not as much as I love my mom. You're not alone in this bullshit. As Felix said, everyone has their own bullshit rule on what they internally decide is safe for covid ("yeah I'll eat inside at restaurants but only if my table has a window" etc etc) and as we "relax" the regulations, it'll get dumber. Sorry you're going through this