My FWB started a new dating account app just for casual sex/one night stands/casual sexting and set the age range as 18-35. They’re 26 years old.
Is it creepy/predatory to potentially have a one night stand/casual sex(ting) with someone as young as 18 at that age? I figured not since they’re not looking for anything long-term or romantic, but I’m on the spectrum so I’m really not good at assessing this kind of stuff in relationships.
18 year olds look like kids to me and did when I was 25 too
It’s weird to try to fuck w someone that can’t even drink at that age imo. Especially bc at 25 people are still young hotties. At the same time he set the upper threshold to 35 so it seems to me like it’s just a numbers game :shrug-outta-hecks:
The ole half plus 7 puts 35 as not creepy for a 26yo but 18 as creepy. As dumb as a lot of "dating rules" are I think that one is pretty decent as what is "acceptable"
It’s weird to try to fuck w someone that can’t even drink at that age imo
awwh, try living in a free country next time
I asked them about it and they pretty much were just like "yeah, I would never specifically seek out someone that young but if they were hot and interested I'd do it."
I would unquestionably be against it if they specifically set it to just 18-19 as the maximum.
being post college age is fair game to me imo but i gotta tell you when i look at 18-20 year olds these days they look baby faced as fuck to me and more of a 'awww i wanna pinch your cheeks' thing. maybe its just cause im used to seeing pretty much only my bf who looks like a grizzled bear of a man but idk
I think the intense focus on age gaps is a kind of neo-prudery. There's more potential for an imbalance of power when a 35 year old is dating an 18 year old, but there are plenty of abusive relationships between 18 year olds and 18 year olds, and 35 year olds and 35 year olds. Dating someone much younger than you raises a red flag, but it's not inherently predatory and it's also not the place of randos on the internet to police every relationship between consenting adults. Dating an 18 year old is kind of sketch, but it is absolutely not in any way pedophilia. 18 year olds are generally considered to be adults and you have to let adults do their own thing and potentially make mistakes.
TLDR; The intense focus that very online leftists have on age gaps in relationships is more problematic than age gaps in relationships.
I suppose because the working class is still largely reactionary. People believing that workers should seize power from the capitalist class doesn't necessarily mean they can't also be bigots or puritans.
I’ve heard this from “Autobiography of Malcolm X” and Bro culture. Parallel evolution?
So you'd be fine with a four year old getting it on with a nine year old? You're sick, man!
As long as everyone's of age and consenting, I don't really care if an 18 year old fucks a 100 year old or whatever tbh.
It might not be for me personally, but I'm not gonna fuss over it.
I don't think there's anyway that can be construed as inherently problematic. Ultimately it's up to the youngest party to determine if they're comfortable or not. I'm sure there are 18 year olds who aren't emotionally ready for sexual relationships more generally, but I'm sure there are people much older than that in the same boat as well. Personally, as a cisgendered male, my first sexual encounter was age 17 or 18 and the sexual partner was at least 35.
I'm curious what makes a long-term relationship with a large age gap less problematic though... I'm in a relationship with someone 31 years my senior currently.
first sexual encounter was age 17 or 18 and the sexual partner was at least 35.
Holy crap!
that was like my response until i realized like “holy shit i did that exact fucking thing” i was in a sober living and some girl twice my age (because i was 18) persuaded me to walk to the cemetery wjth her..she went off with this younger guy who was 20? 21, 22? i fucked the older guy, he was definitely 35 or older and yeah that age gap is like, insane..…. but he did set an ok precedent in terms of like what i should expect from other people i think . he pulled out a condom without even asking (which is basically something i always, always end up having to do….its insane) and asked me repeatedly to stop or not (looking back 5 whole years later i feel like he was the uncomfortable party, maybe?)
but because it was in a graveyard , this is probably the source of all the bad things that have happened to me since thn……big oof
When I was 19 I was exclusively having sex with older partners, some as old as 66, so it's incredibly frustrating for me when people try to strip me of my agency and insist I'm a victim just because they think it's gross. Sure, there is a power imbalance, but there's a power imbalance in literally every heterosexual relationship, it isn't INHERENTLY predatory. Frankly, it feels very similar to how being queer will have bigots insisting that I'm a danger to children: you can't police people's sex lives just because you think it's icky, so you have to accuse them of being predators.
Hot take: I find it weird how many people are like "the age of consent should be 18, but also 18 year olds aren't REALLY adults and it's creepy for people much older than 18 to try and have sex with them." I mean, if that's really how you feel shouldn't you advocate for the age on consent to be raised? I don't like this "it should be legal but everyone should privately think its creepy and judge people for doing it" approach to social morality, if something is bad make it illegal, if 18 year olds aren't really old enough to consent to have sex with people significantly older than them, the age of consent should be raised to 21 or 25 or whatever.
Personally yeah I don't really think people under 21 are really mature enough to consent to sex with people way older than them. IDK exactly where I'd put the cut off point, but it's def not cool past a certain age. However I do think once your 22 if you wanna fool around with some people older than you, well you're an adult that's your prerogative.
"if something is bad make it illegal" is an absolutely deranged opinion, not all social norms should be enforced by state violence. In this specific case, if the age of consent was upped to 21/25/whatever with some kinda Romeo and Juliet clause, it'd exclusively be used to go after gays
I'm in my early 40s and married. I think if I found myself single, it would be impossible for me to seek out someone under the age of 40 to go down to pound town.
my best friend who is unfortunately like dead was 23 when we met and i was 18, i bring this up because though it was a friend ship, there were occasional nudes-swapping and shit lol , although because he lived in tampa (and i live somewhere very far from tampa) it obviously never was or could be more than that at least as things were at the time, the distance i mean basically….
i am the same age he was when we first met back then now (which is blowing my mind by the way because i never really thought about that til saying this)
i can say though i dont feel like there was any creepiness involved whatsoever, period (and we initially only ever crossed paths because we were both in a rehab together, so it wasnt like this was some weirdo seeking teenagers hanging at arcades or whereever the fuck teenagers hang out) that i dont think id be able to have any level of sexual involvement, no matter how mild, with anyone under the age of 20 (and i am sure this number will increase as i age, myself)
emotional maturity matters…. im not talking like, its cool and good for some 40 year old creep to go after some literal (18y) teenager because the teenager claims theyre just “sooo mature”
i mean this more in the sense that the younger party involved, understands implications of different things , and can fully be aware of whatever they may be doing, and is careful to not be taken advantage of in ANY way and that they have the capacity to understand when things are starting to head south and they should immediately cease contact with that other party (though of course:this is why groomers exist, they will do shit over a long period of time so as to not scare you away, its truly disgusting when you really thinkg about it)
"grooming" is being stretched to it's absolute limit. An 18 year old is an adult. You can have an abusive relationship with a power imbalance, but it's not grooming.
