• Nagarjuna [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      It really depends on where you are. This would fly in Atlanta but not Seattle. It'd fly in Italy, but not Norway. It'd fly more often for a pretty charming person. It'd fly more often at a bar or a party than at a cafe. If she says "I'm waiting for a friend," that means "don't sit here." It's unfortunately not as simple as not/appropriate.

      • AntipastoAktion [they/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        This kinda shit is why I'm so seemingly anti-social. I have ASD and the fact that there's all these unwritten rules about social interactions is absurd, I have no idea how neurotypical folks handle this :blob-no-thoughts: I sure as hell can't manage it.

        • Nagarjuna [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          As a nuerotypical, some of us are better at it than others. I personally find it tiring and hang out with a lot of weirdos specifically so I can avoid this sort of thing.

      • Ram_The_Manparts [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        It might fly in Norway actually, because our inability to say no sometimes overrides our compulsion to be anti social lmao

        • sonartaxlaw [undecided,he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          That's the issue though "can I join you" is only appropriate if the recipient has the capacity to say no and if the question itself isn't bothersome

      • axont [she/her, comrade/them]
        ·
        2 years ago

        It did happen to me a few times in Japan at cafes and stuff, like people sitting with me when it was crowded. The first time I tried talking to the guy, but I either broke some social etiquette of not talking or maybe he wasn't expecting the gaikokujin to know some Japanese? Because he was visibly not into it

      • AllCatsAreBeautiful [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        My buddy who lives in the northeastern US once accidentally made eye contact with someone on a bus. The guy immediately flipped him off and shouted "Whaddaya think of that, idiot?" from across the bus. I cannot imagine asking to sit down at a table with a stranger.

    • usernamesaredifficul [he/him]
      ·
      2 years ago

      It's much more socially acceptable if you asked "can I join you" also you might get rebuffed pretty hard so be prepared for that and only try if you can handle the rejection gracefully

    • Trouble [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      No, I don't want anyone doing this unless the place is full, and even then one should keep to theirself. If I'm at a café alone it's because I want to be at a café alone.

    • HumanBehaviorByBjork [any, undecided]
      ·
      2 years ago

      i don't think sitting at a table with a stranger is that weird. i think prefacing it with "are you here alone?" is what makes it weird