the post for those who don't want to :reddit-logo:
So, I know this is a weird question, but my boyfriend likes to spend a lot of his free time digging a tunnel on some property that he inherited. I haven't seen the full extent of it, but last I saw it was remarkably deep under the surface. He's spent roughly a year on it, and it's evident. The front of the thing is deep, wide, well put together. At the front, which is the only part that I've seen, he's got cement beams, electric lights, even chairs and a small table. I haven't gone into it, but it looked like the quality severely dropped as the tunnel went further, mostly becoming open dirt with some wood beams holding it up.
My biggest concern is his safety, I'm really worried that he's going to dig too deep and it'll collapse on him or something. I've tried voicing this concern to him, but he just laughs it off and assures me that he'll be fine. Aside from safety concerns, there's also the fact that he doesn't really have a social life, because of this thing. I'm pretty much the only person he still talks to outside of his job, and he doesn't go out and do anything anymore. It used to be that he'd occasionally head out and do some digging on the weekends, but now he spends almost all of his free time out there. He still comes home, but he barely spends any time with me, and I know that he isn't doing anything but digging that damn hole in the ground. This can't be good for his mental health, but I don't know how to convince him to stop. He's always really happy when he comes back from digging, which is why I haven't seriously tried to stop him before, but I was talking to a friend about him, and she told me he might be going crazy. Obviously I don't think he's insane, but I hadn't considered the mental health aspect of this, and I just don't know what to do.
TLDR: Boyfriend spends all of his time digging a tunnel, and I'm worried for both his physical and mental health
Here's a link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/u3q7db/how_can_i27f_get_my_boyfriend31m_of_two_years_to/
Alright, so I’ve spoken with my boyfriend, and after a good long chat, I can successfully say: Mission Accomplished!
I sat him down when he came home Thursday night and seriously voiced my concerns, both about his safety and about our relationship. He hadn’t realized how big of an effect this had been having on me in regards to our relationship, and he immediately said that he was going to cut the time he spent out there in half. He said that we could spend the entire weekend together, and we pretty much did. Friday night was spent at home, and we went out for a nice dinner Saturday night after spending the day together. We were going to have a nice, lazy Sunday together, but I could tell that he was getting kind of antsy and almost nervous after church today, so I told him that he could go ahead and go to his tunnel early if he wanted to. I won’t lie, I was kind of hoping that he would stay at home, but he decided to go back out, which is alright by me.
I also talked to him about my concerns regarding gasses that y’all made me realize I should be conscious of, and he said that he’d work to get some sort of ventilation system installed ASAP, and that he’d even dig with his dad’s old gas mask if it’d make me feel better.
The only thing that I didn’t bring up was us maybe going to therapy about it, mainly because he said that he’d cut back and I didn’t want to push the issue too far. I think that he could maybe benefit from it, but he’s of the opinion that you only go to therapy if there’s something wrong with you, and I don’t want him to think that I’m saying that there’s something wrong with him. So, all in all, maybe I should have brought that up, but I’m definitely happy with how things turned out, so thanks everybody that gave some advice.
Also, a lot of people were asking why he tunnels, and while I’d asked him before, I asked again, and this was his answer:
“It’s just pleasant. When I’m down there, I feel safe and calm, and I’m always happier when I leave than when I went in.”
TLDR: We had a good chat, and he's going to cut back on his tunneling
And this has gotta be some kind of weird writing exercise. OP's absolute refusal to elaborate on exactly how this dude is digging a tunnel is just weird behavior. Unless the dude is Minecraft Steve.
he said that he’d work to get some sort of ventilation system installed ASAP, and that he’d even dig with his dad’s old gas mask if it’d make me feel better.
This reads like fairly ordinary dudes rock shit it's just that most of them get into like hurling themselves down a mountain on something two wheeled instead of T H E D I G
the post for those who don't want to :reddit-logo:
Here's the updated post which was deleted:
And this has gotta be some kind of weird writing exercise. OP's absolute refusal to elaborate on exactly how this dude is digging a tunnel is just weird behavior. Unless the dude is Minecraft Steve.
my dude is digging his way towards an SCP
This has to be creative writing, there's no way
This reads like fairly ordinary dudes rock shit it's just that most of them get into like hurling themselves down a mountain on something two wheeled instead of T H E D I G
The depths are calling to me.
'ate daylight 'ate above ground like diggin
Simple as
The call of the deep is strong in dwarven kind
Makes sense to me. Physically demanding and you have something to show for it afterwards. Stop doomscrolling, embrace the dig
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