I moved to Germany from India 4 years ago. Before you have a prejudice regarding me, I would like to state that I am a open minded, leftist, very much aware of privileges society and an atheist.

I got out of a four year long relationship last year and since then it took me this many months to move on from it. My attachment style is a bit anxious oriented. But since then I have been doing therapy and have got hell of a perspective within myself. In short, I have a better control of my life.

I started dating again last month after 5 years and I feel like I am either toooo old for this current dating scenario or just a bit conservative. It seems like people are just looking for hookups, for which I am not against it but I am looking for something long term. And it's just so hard to find someone like that. Every other person I meet is either there for fucking or polygamous relationships. I am not sure if it is just the Germans or this is a global thing. But I feel like me wanting to have a monogamous, long term relationship and possibly a marriage is considered a bit conservative now. I know that one can never decide on longetivity of relationship and I also don't go out there say openly that I am seeking some life long partner or whatever but I wish to have one. Please help me get some perspective on this, how do I exactly orient myself in this? Do I need to change the way I think about wants and needs?

  • Kaa5h [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Yes TG. But most of all, I just feel like if people really were taught how to communicate the needs and express their wants properly and in a non-judgemental way. So many of the fucking issues just wouldn't exist in first place 😅. I was really mindfucked by the ghostings. You meet someone, they are hella attracted, everything is perfect and then the next day... GHOSTED. This shit has become so common now. Very annoying curve in the dating world in this 5 years of a gap 😅

    • TankGirl [she/her]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Ghosting is pretty much necessary as a woman, you should expect it. Most men handle rejection extremely poorly and it’s not safe to try and navigate that.