goku-halal

  • @Justice@lemmygrad.ml
    cake
    hexbear
    49
    4 months ago

    I had a Mexican-American coworker who would pretend to work at his computer but was actually watching like 480p or worse streams of DBZ muted with subtitles on. We had a silent mutual agreement that I never talk about the DBZ playing all day and he never talk about how I oddly angled my own monitor so that I could recline my chair and lean back at the perfect angle to hide my face and sleep while appearing to be doing something at my desk.

    So maybe Biden is on to something here.

  • RedQuestionAsker2 [he/him, she/her]
    hexbear
    48
    4 months ago

    Base form Goku would mop the floor with any of the other candidates easily. He MIGHT have to use kaiyoken if Klobuchar is running.

    • Smeagolicious [they/them]
      hexbear
      26
      4 months ago

      He wouldn't get that far, Goku's already proven vulnerable to the heart attack gun.

        • Magician [he/him, they/them]
          hexbear
          13
          4 months ago

          But what if Hillary gets the dragon balls and wishes to run for president as the Democratic candidate again?

          • RedQuestionAsker2 [he/him, she/her]
            hexbear
            14
            4 months ago

            Shenron can only revive something once, and hilldawg already had two dead campaigns.

            We all know she used a wish in 2016 to get ahead of Bernie.

          • Smeagolicious [they/them]
            hexbear
            9
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            hillgasm: "Mighty Shenron, make me President of the United States!"

            🐲: "THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER. FAREWELL"

          • @Raebxeh
            hexbear
            7
            4 months ago

            That would be the most Hillary thing to do. Don’t wish to improve the world. Don’t wish to win. Just wish to run.

    • @Justice@lemmygrad.ml
      cake
      hexbear
      13
      4 months ago

      "And I said to Goku: "How would your hair fair in a spirit bomb, Mr Savior of Earth?"" chuckles nervously

      • Mokey [none/use name]
        hexbear
        9
        4 months ago

        https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/06/us/amy-klobuchar-comedy.html

        Shortly before Ms. Klobuchar declared her own presidential bid earlier this year, Abigail Bessler, her 24-year-old daughter, an amateur stand-up comic herself, somewhat sheepishly reminded her mother about the senior thesis Ms. Bessler wrote at Yale. The topic: the use of humor in presidential politics and the “Path to Power Through One-Liners, Talk Shows and Tweets.”

        “Should an orator want to stir up laughter?” Ms. Bessler asked in her thesis. “The answer is a fairly resounding yes.”

        Additional gems from the paper, written to complete a degree in political science, include:

        “Humor can be used as a political weapon: to attack opponents, inoculate oneself from criticism, establish one’s good humor and more. Through comedy and wit, a politician can reduce audience scrutiny of arguments by appealing to their emotions and allowing them to discount any messages they might disagree with as ‘just a joke.’

        • @Justice@lemmygrad.ml
          cake
          hexbear
          5
          4 months ago

          If I were a billionaire, perhaps I'd hire a team of people to follow me around and cite things like this any time I do or say anything. It could be like the modern version of a slave whispering in Caesar's ear that he's mortal.

          Like my personal chef brings my breakfast out and right behind him is a guy with an iPad who starts reading a recent write up on how modern livestock raising techniques are sure to doom the entire world to disease. Or whatever. Not like in an accusatory way, just as a neutral reminder. "Let me read this article about avian flu mutations while you chomp those eggs down"

            • @Justice@lemmygrad.ml
              cake
              hexbear
              3
              4 months ago

              Yeah, I'm just joking around.

              It did feel like a slight stab to the heart like "oh no... I'm empowering that dumbass..."

  • Angel [any]
    hexbear
    44
    4 months ago

    As a black person, I can speak for the entire black American community and say that this also guarantees 100% of the black vote.

  • Comp4 [she/her]
    hexbear
    41
    4 months ago

    Im not American but next election im gonna vote for Goku. You cant stop me

    • Tankiedesantski [he/him]
      hexbear
      34
      4 months ago

      Hello NYT writer, please include this post in your expose on foreign election interference. I want my handle to be famous.

    • Barabas [he/him]
      hexbear
      11
      4 months ago

      Alternatively that they want to improve things for anyone below the top 10% (being generous here).

  • edge [he/him]
    hexbear
    36
    4 months ago

    Article is three years old btw. It talks about making Harris a SCOTUS justice and Biden picking a better VP, who then might take his place in 2024.

  • @ComradeChairmanKGB@lemmygrad.ml
    hexbear
    32
    4 months ago

    Remember that until Kamala becomes president you are not allowed to cum.

    ...er I've just been informed by the volcel police that you won't be allowed afterwards either, but still, it's the principle of the thing.

    Kamala 2024

    • VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its]B
      hexbear
      16
      4 months ago

      Show

      The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

      نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

      volcel-police

  • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]
    hexbear
    28
    4 months ago

    What's the nuclear option, blasting Biden with gamma particles and hoping he gets super powers?

  • @DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
    hexbear
    16
    4 months ago

    "Vote blue no matter who" is really the lib equivalent of people giving their energy to a spirit bomb, isn't it?

  • sexywheat [none/use name]
    hexbear
    4
    4 months ago

    There is no precedent for a sitting vice president being nominated to the Supreme Court. However, Erwin Chemerinsky, the dean of the University of California at Berkeley School of Law, said: "I do not see any impediment to a sitting vice president being nominated for the Supreme Court."

    If the unlikely theory were to play out Ms Harris would need to be confirmed to the court by a simple majority in the Senate, which is split 50-50, and where she herself currently holds the casting vote as Vice President.

    Holy shit. Isn't Kamala incredibly unqualified to be on the Supreme Court? And she would get to effectively nominate herself to it? Lmao what the fuck. Talk about failing upwards.

    Who tf else are they gonna run in place of Biden? pete-eat This mf? Get the fuck outta here lol.

  • @SSJ2Marx
    hexbear
    3
    4 months ago

    What would Goku's politics be? More funding for physical education/youth sports? Challenge other countries to a 1v1 instead of going to war? Senzu bean-based healthcare for all?

    • FourteenEyes [he/him]
      hexagon
      hexbear
      1
      4 months ago

      Give China all the nukes to make them stronger so he can fight them in a friendly match