If I could have thought of a very funny "#Pride full metal jacket" joke - I would have made that my title. But simply quoting reality works really well too.
I made a tiny edit to their graphic and now it's an Onion joke.
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pride bullets but instead of injuring and killing people upon impact like regular bullets, they turn you gay
There's a #Pride full metal jacket joke waiting to be made but I just couldn't find it.
I'm in a similar boat....keep thinking about something with #LockheedMartinLutherKing, but I'm not clever enough.
#LockheedMartinLutherKing
I feel like that is pretty clever tho
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will all be considered enemy combatants by the targeting algorithm.
"I don't see any horns on your head boy, you know what that means?"
spoiler
"It means ur valid and I love u"
"These are our lipsticks, these are our guns!"
"These are for fighting, these are for fun!"
What's that on your helmet?
"Rainbow cartridges, sir!"
You wear rainbow cartridges on your helmet..is that some kind of sick joke?
"No Sir. I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of my sexuality, sir!"
"Marine what is that button on your body armor?"
"A sexual assault awareness month pin, sir"
"Where'd you get it?"
"I don't remember - every business was handing them out, sir"
"What is it that you've got written on your helmet?"
"Born to Rape, sir"
"You write 'Born to Rape' on your helmet and you wear a SAAM button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?"
"No sir"
"I will take a giant shit on you"
"Yes sir"
"Now answer my question"
"I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of sex, sir"
"The what?"
"The duality of sex. The Mulveyin thing."
"Who's side are you on, son"
"Our side, sir"
"Then how about getting with the program?"
"Yes, sir"
"Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Russians, because inside every commie there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this consent craze blows over."
"Aye-aye, sir"
The gay Marine march past. Their rainbow uniforms are stained with the blood of millions.
I stand up so fast that my pants drop. My flattened hand dents my forehead.
I manage to squeak out a strained "thank you for your service" before instantly coating everyone and everything within 20 feet behind me in shit.
A giant American sized tear of pride rolls down my cheek. I roar mightily and pure red American blood pours from every orifice of my body like Niagara falls.
16 mass shooters arrive all at once and riddle me with bullets. My last thoughts are of the statue of liberty with her clothes off. I die happier than anyone ever has before.
