Welcome to the first televised Presidential debate!

enter Alec Baldwin and Woody Harrelson

AUDIENCE LOSES THEIR SHIT

Host: President Trump, we'll start with you, sir. ... Umm, are you on your phone?!

Trump: Yes, I'm writing a tweet! ... hashtag nothingrhymeswithorange, hashtag tuckmeinvladamir

AUDIENCE DOUBLES OVER IN PANDEMONIUM

Biden: Maybe it would make the most sense if I just took over.

camera pans to Biden in shades holding an empty ice cream cone

AUDIENCE CACKLES UNTIL THEIR ESOPHAGUS IS SANDPAPER

Biden: I came here to kick ass and eat ice cream, and I'm all out of ice cream.

AUDIENCE WRENCHES INTO AN OUROBOROS OF AUTOFELLATIO

........

What else happens?

  • Perplexiglass [they/them]
    hexagon
    ·
    4 years ago

    Larry David shows up

    Bernie: Hi, are you the valet?

    Trump: Oh, Crazy Bernie.

    Biden: He looks L-l-l-l-lost.

    Trump: Quite the stutter. Even if you beat me at that cog...native...cog... that test!

    Bernie: Have you gentlemen seen my marbles, I seem to have lost them.