Welcome to the first televised Presidential debate!
enter Alec Baldwin and Woody Harrelson
AUDIENCE LOSES THEIR SHIT
Host: President Trump, we'll start with you, sir. ... Umm, are you on your phone?!
Trump: Yes, I'm writing a tweet! ... hashtag nothingrhymeswithorange, hashtag tuckmeinvladamir
AUDIENCE DOUBLES OVER IN PANDEMONIUM
Biden: Maybe it would make the most sense if I just took over.
camera pans to Biden in shades holding an empty ice cream cone
AUDIENCE CACKLES UNTIL THEIR ESOPHAGUS IS SANDPAPER
Biden: I came here to kick ass and eat ice cream, and I'm all out of ice cream.
AUDIENCE WRENCHES INTO AN OUROBOROS OF AUTOFELLATIO
........
What else happens?
Larry David shows up
Bernie: Hi, are you the valet?
Trump: Oh, Crazy Bernie.
Biden: He looks L-l-l-l-lost.
Trump: Quite the stutter. Even if you beat me at that cog...native...cog... that test!
Bernie: Have you gentlemen seen my marbles, I seem to have lost them.
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