Welcome to the first televised Presidential debate!
enter Alec Baldwin and Woody Harrelson
AUDIENCE LOSES THEIR SHIT
Host: President Trump, we'll start with you, sir. ... Umm, are you on your phone?!
Trump: Yes, I'm writing a tweet! ... hashtag nothingrhymeswithorange, hashtag tuckmeinvladamir
AUDIENCE DOUBLES OVER IN PANDEMONIUM
Biden: Maybe it would make the most sense if I just took over.
camera pans to Biden in shades holding an empty ice cream cone
AUDIENCE CACKLES UNTIL THEIR ESOPHAGUS IS SANDPAPER
Biden: I came here to kick ass and eat ice cream, and I'm all out of ice cream.
AUDIENCE WRENCHES INTO AN OUROBOROS OF AUTOFELLATIO
........
What else happens?
I legit want this now.