Summary:

News:

Apparently there won't be a recession in Europe! The European Commission says that they're fine with Ukraine joining the EU, but the actual countries in the EU probably won't be. Ukraine has lost 25% of its arable land to war, but that's not too awful because a lot of people have left Ukraine - thank god there isn't a campaign to transport the remaining grain out of the country to the detriment of its citizens. Russia starts to strip anti-war protestors of their citizenship, while their oil revenue soars, as China and India now make 50% of Russia's seaborne oil exports. Poland looks at Ukraine and says that it also wants a ton of new weapons. The UK is sending record amounts of gas and oil to the EU, while the EU is annoyed with the UK for breaking the law on the whole Northern Ireland Brexit thing. The real wages of UK workers tumble at the fastest rate in 20 years, while fuel prices hit new heights. There are also protests over the UK sending migrants to Rwanda, with Corbyn coming out to make a brief speech. Macron says that France now has a war economy. German inflation is nearly the highest it's been in 50 years.

An article on China and the Pacific, for those who don't really know what's going on over there. China wants stronger security ties with Pakistan. Taiwan says that the Taiwan Strait is an international waterway and that it's fine for US battleships to float through it, as literally every country would be fine if a hostile power put their navy off their shores. Laos says they might ban their citizens from holding foreign currencies in order to address national currency issues. Japan farmers are switching some of their farms from rice to wheat. Indian pollution reduces the life expectancy of people there by 10 years. India's Supreme Court recognizes sex work as a profession, and that sex workers should not be harassed by the police. Russia is now India's 2nd largest oil supplier, outpacing Saudi Arabia, but still behind Iraq. Weaning Indonesia off coal will be difficult.

The Secretary General of the Arab League says that the US has been berating them to support Ukraine and not Russia, but they aren't gonna do what the US says. Israel is now conducting military drills near the Gaza fence. Meanwhile, Israelis start panicking that their nation is doomed because historically, Jewish rule has almost never lasted longer than 80 years, and Israel was founded in 1948 - almost as if Israel is cursed after it was built upon a native burial ground. Maybe the prophecy has some substance, as Israel's ruling coalition is about to fall apart, which would then cause the fifth election in three years.

Biden has an opportunity in Saudi Arabia, apparently. Pakistan is facing a major energy crisis, similar to Sri Lanka, with 12 hour blackouts due to reduced fuel imports because Europe is hogging all of it. Iraq just had another big sandstorm, closing Baghdad airport. A chemical factory in Iran just exploded, while the heads of Iran and Afghanistan's railways want mutual cooperation to get some trains going.

Over 15,000 sheep drown in Sudan after too many were packed onto a boat. Libya is facing a serious political crisis - who can say why these have kept popping up over the last decade. The French army tactically retreats from a Mali army base. Gambia gets a ~$7 million disbursement from the IMF.

Canada wants to start mining Africa for minerals. Elizabeth Warren realize that the real problem with the US military is that it's not green enough, and so want more electric vehicles - hopefully they buy some cars from Tesla. There will be a recession. There might be a recession. There will be a recession. There is still inflation. The US wants more Russian fertilizer due to the fertilizer markets going haywire and the oncoming global food crisis. Prices for workers rise by more than 9% - hopefully Joe Biden will successfully answer the parliamentarian's riddles three and get us some aid this year. The US military realizes that they actually have to have an air defence when you aren't fighting shepherds and terrorists, and so wants lasers. America also starts drilling more oil.

Chile's drought is still really bad and getting worse, as lakes turn into deserts. Honduras starts planting cashews rather than corn as they're better at surviving local conditions. Ecuadorian indigenous groups protest economic policies by their conservative president, as fuel prices are so high.

Food giants get even richer, with 62 new food billionaires coming in existence over the last 2 years, as global food prices go up by 33%.

Conflict:

Ukraine starts really bombarding Donetsk city for no apparent military reason, hitting a maternity hospital - and, Ukraine hits a Russian settlement 50km into Russian territory. There's a good roundup by Canadian Dimension on how fucking stupid the western media has been during the war, such as that Russia obviously thought they could capture and hold a city with 3 million civilians and 60,000 Ukrainian troops with 40,000 Russian troops. Western media is reporting that Russia blew up the last bridge to Severodonetsk, while Russia reports that Ukraine did it. Business Insider finally realizes that Russia's T-62 tanks aren't going to be used in epic tank battles with Ukraine, and so do in fact have a use. The makers of the Javelin forgot to properly translate their ~300 page manual to Ukrainian, resulting in Ukraine needing customer service. US officials say that it's probably not a big deal that we don't know where our weapons are going in Ukraine.

Climate:

More green hydrogen, this time in India. The UN Secretary General says that new investments in fossil fuels are delusional. Also, it turns out if you feed cows red seaweed, they produce less methane.

Dipshittery and Good Takes:

WaPo makes another article about how China and Russia are autocratic besties working to destroy all things bright and beautiful in the West. Zelensky says that he'll retake Donbass and Crimea. Forbes writes an article about how 54 quintillion Russia and Donbass soldiers have died. Warren Buffett's son, who is 67 years old(!) says that he's never seen a war which generates millions of refugees in his lifetime. Ukrainian troops become twisted fucking cyclepaths, dehumanizing dead Russian soldiers. Apparently, there are significant Ukrainian "successes" near Kherson. 15% of Russia's millionaires are leaving Russia, owning the Putler once again. On the not-so-brighter side, Jacobin writes an article about how the Fed is declaring war on workers (always has been).