Last thread was here.
Again: no crackers allowed.
Here, you can:
vent
chat
gush
inquire
bring up
discuss
educate
etc.
about anything.
Bonus discussion question:
Are there any books about BIPOC and EM people that you're reading and, if so, what are they about?
My answer is simply "no" BUT I have a few books in my queue that I plan to read soon that will talk about certain individuals and communities of color.
Bonus reminder:
Read: Henry Winston's Strategy for a Black Agenda, even if you end up not liking the book.
It teaches you how to think about strategy and tactics, imho.
I've been thinking a lot about Black fatherhood and what that means as a gay man raised in the US.
I followed some helpful advice about ranting in my car, and now I feel like I'm understanding the way fatherhood was framed to me and my father as I was growing up.
There were several instances where he was out of his depth and sometimes it felt like he was just trying to do things for the approval of the average white person. I get it to an extent, it's dangerous to move in the world if you lack the approval of the most powerful demographic in your area. But there was a lack of understanding my dad seemed to have where he didn't enforce those rules as a means of survival. It was more like he was trying to be liked. Like he wanted to blend in, and so there was no code-switching when we were alone.
It was unexamined internalized racism and he pushed a lot of that onto me without fully understanding the racist structures in place. There was this lack of context as well.
For example, he would insist I take an interest in golf because that would help me look professional when I work. My employers may like golf and having knowledge and interest would endear me to them. He like tried to force me into taking interests like that without fully understanding the history of the racist history of golf. He didn't frame it as, 'if you know about these stupid things, you can stay included in social circles that could give you access.'
It was that I had to do these certain things to be valid and to fall short wasn't allowed.
I bring this up because I felt this rift between me and my father where we didn't have that moment of connection about the reality of being Black in a society that punishes Blackness that doesn't conform.
I've heard the talk about police, but I had to figure out a lot of stuff late because of stuff my father carried with him.
I hate that the aesthetics of capitalism were prioritized over genuine connection and I am curious about the experiences of parents raising children of color.
One of the cruelest aspects of capitalism 100%. And exactly as you put it there's a dialectical aspect of it, it's not inherently good or bad, and I think processing the contradictions in order to pass on a formulation that is good is such unappreciated but critical work.
Tbh this is the element of fanons work that I like the most, although the more talked about elements are also great.
I'll have to read more fanon. Do you have a suggestion on where a newbie should start?
There's only really three books by Fanon.
The Wretched of the Earth is where you typically start with.
I'd highly recommend Wretched of the Earth!!
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This sounds terrifying, no offense...
(What you're going through, I mean.)
Also, I may be estranged from my own Mom at the rate I'm going; I'm already estranged from my abusive Dad...
It's scary yeah, but it's like I'm seeing what's going on instead of moving through it unconsciously. I think it's helping me get some perspective on trauma I've experienced and how it fits into the larger issues of society that caused and enabled it. It's weird though because it's a lot of new ground to cover that I wasn't even aware of.
Yeah, that's life; there's lots more to cover, always, than our field of vision...
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