> be me, Abimael Guzmán
> be philosophy prof in dead-end uni job
> long to wield power
> have god complex and horny for ladies
> local orgs keep throwing me out for being a sexpest and a spiteful asshole
> local leftoids dont see my brilliance
don’t care, am god, am chairman gonzalo
have cia contacts through uni
fuck it why not
> get money from cia to start my cult / party
> start my own party cult with blackjack and hookers
> cia promises i can be dictator
> get guns
> get coke
> get sex cult
> write cocaine manifestos about how everyone is fake except me
> tell followers way to get proles is to massacre them into class consciousness
murder over 24,000 ppl, including bebes
> still no mass line, probably just need to kill more
cia tells me 2 chill
> ignore cia, slaughter more bebes (boiling hot water 🥵)
everyone in peru hates me now
don’t care, am god, am chairman gonzalo
> mfw cia turns on me and puts less batshit fash dude in power
> new fash dude named after apples or some shit
> mfw new fash gives all the peruvians shit tons of shotguns instead of apples
> wtf all my cultists are getting blown apart with shotguns
> mfw my adventurism turned peasants from lumpen to reactionary fash
> mfw i get locked up for war crimes by the fash gov I helped create
am in jail
> no guns
> no coke
> no sex cult
don’t care, am god, am chairman gonzalo
> cia says “dont worry fam, we’ll make you popular in usa”
> start building my party cult again from jail
crackers love me
already lost so perfect martyr
chauvinist crackers keep sending me money
hell yeah still got it
Chairperson Gonzalo :rat-salute:
What's up with MLMs addressing Gonzalo with his title while not doing the same with people like Lenin and Stalin? Lenin was a chairman too, but when's the last time you see them refer to Lenin as "Chairman Lenin?" The dude who led a failed revolution gets to be called "Chairman Gonzalo" while the dude who led the fight against fascists doesn't get to be called "General Secretary Stalin?"
okay but hear me out: none of them ever led a cia funded sex cult
checkmate, revisionists
They do say Chairman Mao
I only call him General Secretary as part of a kink
Thank you. I am not the worst figure in leftist discourse, but I am one of the most annoying and I worked hard to earn that distinction
Unless you're counting Pol Pot... In which case we can have an annoying discussion on whether or not the Khmer Rouge was communist. So either still annoying, or the worst.