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  • came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    i was cruising up through south chicago in my stepmom's audi when i decided to stop into a local hair cutlerist to check in with my people in the wiggity wack strizeets, as they are referred to by people in the knowing. i walked into the small family owned business (named Sanford and Sons) and immediately began schooling the old timers in dominos, when some bernie bro in a tshirt came in and disrespected everyone by handing out voter information about voter precinct changes. totally mansplaining to these gentlement how to vote, as if they didn't know!

    they told him to "make like a tree and leave" and we all guffawed heartily. it was then they told me that they were all voting for my kween Liz Warren because of her ability to command the respect and attention of these wall street bankers. and that's how you know Liz Warren is going to win this whole thing, because literally everyone is going to vote for her and that's what it takes.