Dating sucks for just about everyone because most of those categories are manifestations of people being raised by capitalism or ground down by a collapsing society.
i've been on the receiving end of violence from women. i have absolutely been white knuckle terrified of being killed by a woman i was in an intimate relationship with. it's not something one sees coming. one minute you're with someone on a team, the next you're seeing the danger right next to you, trapping you.
spoiler alert: i got away. when i ended things with her soon after, over the phone from 30 miles away, i made it seems like it was generally amicable. i constructed a story of my own emotional unavailability, because it was plausible and i could come across as unhappy. i told our mutual friends it was about some vague incompatibility, because i was not looking to be invalidated or worse when any accusation got back to her. it's been years now and i have surgically removed any social threads connecting us so as to create the perception our estrangement was natural and unintentional.
i never told anyone except a guy i've known for 20+ years who went through something similar more recently and was spiraling about how to process it. i'm grateful he reached out when he did. it sucks because suddenly fearing for your life sucks, but the extra layer of knowing in your bones that many of those close to you would dismiss your experience, explain it away as your misunderstanding, and default to taking the side of your abuser. my heart goes out to anyone who has lived this experience as any gender.
i don't even like the general topic coming up among friends, because it makes me upset when people i am close to can't wrap their mind around the concept, in the abstract, that anyone who has access to a motor vehicle can kill someone. or that anyone of any size can physically hurt and deeply traumatize someone who trusts them with violence or the threat of violence. because that's what trust is: making yourself vulnerable to another.
this phrase can die a thousand deaths. men might be conditioned by patriarchy to pretend women can't hurt or kill men, but fear has a way of continuing to exist underneath self-deception.
this phrase can die a thousand deaths. men might be conditioned by patriarchy to pretend women can’t hurt or kill men, but fear has a way of continuing to exist underneath self-deception.
Seconding this to say that I was once in an abusive relationship with a woman who was physically violent and threatened to call the cops on me for domestic abuse if I tried to break up with her.
This sort of thing is a really clear example of how toxic masculinity also hurts men.
Many, many women are that last one, I was blown away when I would mention this and shit would end immediately. My current girlfriend actually had a negative/confused reaction to me being bi, she went and talked to her about it, who told her to dump me immediately! She did not though.
But yes, by all means I still told every woman I dated that I was bi anyway just because if it's gonna be a problem then we should just end it. Haven't dated in years though so maybe it's gotten better
As a bi guy I'd say just a little bit, at least women for the most part aren't consumed by toxic masculinity like the average guy. And won't try kill you or creep on you in the way some incel types do. Haven't encountered any "femcels" yet thankfully.
Though a lot of straight women apparently won't date openly bi guys, which is kinda shit tbh. I've experienced it and it sucks. I'm in the closet for now, so I always ask them their thoughts on LGBT people while they view me as an unassuming straight guy and some of the stuff I've heard is really vile.
I 100% think women have it worse but yeah it's not like there's just a ton of unproblematic women out there to date either. I think for women the stakes are just so much higher for them in terms of safety. Like straight men don't have to worry about a bad date possibly hurting them.
Living in a sick society makes sick unwell people and that's just tough to date in idk
I 100% think women have it worse but yeah it’s not like there’s just a ton of unproblematic women out there to date either. I think for women the stakes are just so much higher for them in terms of safety. Like straight men don’t have to worry about a bad date possibly hurting them.
Yeah this is it for the most part. The safety part is really bad where I live in South Africa for sure.
Ah I see it hasn't changed. Yeah the bi thing absolutely blew my mind. I came out when I had a girlfriend who was also bi, and we had an agreement we could each do gay hookups (as long as we told eachother). When that relationship ended and went back into the dating pool, I would mention to girls that i was bi after a few dates and shit ended so quick so often. They apparently think bi people are sex crazed and will cheat on them immediately. Also I think they're just grossed out by it for some reason.
And then with guys, sometimes they think that you aren't really bi because being bi is fake and you're really just gay but can't admit it or whatever.
Yeah they think you're some serial cheater or sex addict freak, even if you're fully committed to a monogamous relationship and that's all you need and want. Or they think you have cooties or something because you also find men hot.
Is the dating pool that much better for young men?
Dating sucks for just about everyone because most of those categories are manifestations of people being raised by capitalism or ground down by a collapsing society.
Yeah this is a great point.
Not really? They could have just as easily made a list that is like idk:
The dating pool for young men is literally
girls who feel like they need to be in a relationship because they're terrified of being alone
girls who are way too into astrology, tarot, and other bullshit metaphysics
girls who are narcissists
girls with crippling co dependence issues
girls who claim to be feminist but still want their male partners to conform to strict male gender codes and
girls who find bisexual men distasteful/ are extremely homophobic (more of them than you think believe me, even girls who seem "woke")
Everyone is being fucked up by capitalism and shit so 🤷♂️
To be fair at least the girls probably won't kill you
Exactly!
My first thought when I read that was that it's pretty true but then well I could just come up with a list of problems about women.
Yeah this is the only big difference imo
“Men are scared women will laugh in their face, women are scared it’s their lives men will take”
:I-was-saying:
i've been on the receiving end of violence from women. i have absolutely been white knuckle terrified of being killed by a woman i was in an intimate relationship with. it's not something one sees coming. one minute you're with someone on a team, the next you're seeing the danger right next to you, trapping you.
spoiler alert: i got away. when i ended things with her soon after, over the phone from 30 miles away, i made it seems like it was generally amicable. i constructed a story of my own emotional unavailability, because it was plausible and i could come across as unhappy. i told our mutual friends it was about some vague incompatibility, because i was not looking to be invalidated or worse when any accusation got back to her. it's been years now and i have surgically removed any social threads connecting us so as to create the perception our estrangement was natural and unintentional.
i never told anyone except a guy i've known for 20+ years who went through something similar more recently and was spiraling about how to process it. i'm grateful he reached out when he did. it sucks because suddenly fearing for your life sucks, but the extra layer of knowing in your bones that many of those close to you would dismiss your experience, explain it away as your misunderstanding, and default to taking the side of your abuser. my heart goes out to anyone who has lived this experience as any gender.
i don't even like the general topic coming up among friends, because it makes me upset when people i am close to can't wrap their mind around the concept, in the abstract, that anyone who has access to a motor vehicle can kill someone. or that anyone of any size can physically hurt and deeply traumatize someone who trusts them with violence or the threat of violence. because that's what trust is: making yourself vulnerable to another.
this phrase can die a thousand deaths. men might be conditioned by patriarchy to pretend women can't hurt or kill men, but fear has a way of continuing to exist underneath self-deception.
Seconding this to say that I was once in an abusive relationship with a woman who was physically violent and threatened to call the cops on me for domestic abuse if I tried to break up with her.
This sort of thing is a really clear example of how toxic masculinity also hurts men.
Many, many women are that last one, I was blown away when I would mention this and shit would end immediately. My current girlfriend actually had a negative/confused reaction to me being bi, she went and talked to her about it, who told her to dump me immediately! She did not though.
But yes, by all means I still told every woman I dated that I was bi anyway just because if it's gonna be a problem then we should just end it. Haven't dated in years though so maybe it's gotten better
:sadness:
Talked to her what?
My girlfriend talked to her sister who told her to dump me
Gotcha. Screw biphobes.
Friend, I assume?
yeah this is sadly true, there are just as many men like this too.
As a bi guy I'd say just a little bit, at least women for the most part aren't consumed by toxic masculinity like the average guy. And won't try kill you or creep on you in the way some incel types do. Haven't encountered any "femcels" yet thankfully.
Though a lot of straight women apparently won't date openly bi guys, which is kinda shit tbh. I've experienced it and it sucks. I'm in the closet for now, so I always ask them their thoughts on LGBT people while they view me as an unassuming straight guy and some of the stuff I've heard is really vile.
So yeah dating right now is uhh yea...
Good points.
I 100% think women have it worse but yeah it's not like there's just a ton of unproblematic women out there to date either. I think for women the stakes are just so much higher for them in terms of safety. Like straight men don't have to worry about a bad date possibly hurting them.
Living in a sick society makes sick unwell people and that's just tough to date in idk
Yeah this is it for the most part. The safety part is really bad where I live in South Africa for sure.
Ah I see it hasn't changed. Yeah the bi thing absolutely blew my mind. I came out when I had a girlfriend who was also bi, and we had an agreement we could each do gay hookups (as long as we told eachother). When that relationship ended and went back into the dating pool, I would mention to girls that i was bi after a few dates and shit ended so quick so often. They apparently think bi people are sex crazed and will cheat on them immediately. Also I think they're just grossed out by it for some reason.
And then with guys, sometimes they think that you aren't really bi because being bi is fake and you're really just gay but can't admit it or whatever.
Yeah they think you're some serial cheater or sex addict freak, even if you're fully committed to a monogamous relationship and that's all you need and want. Or they think you have cooties or something because you also find men hot.
deleted by creator
Not really, ime. All but the first archetype she mentioned are super common among both women and men because capitalism is a fuck
Death to America
Yeah like all those things are common with women also
how would it be if they're dating the same guys?