when i was a lot younger and going through one of my worst depressive episodes, i was tested for autism and they concluded i didn't have it. this was about 10 years ago.

early this year, i said to my therapist that i have a feeling i might be on the spectrum and i would like to go through tests again so i could get some answers. i noticed things about myself that could be possible signs of autism, such as having special interests, a heavy aversion to eye contact, difficulty in social situations with new people, a hatred of small talk, etc. i even noticed stuff about my childhood that could have easily been explained by it. i made a long list of these things and sent them to the psychologist performing the tests.

i went through 3 months of tests, after which my psychologist concluded that there are several signs pointing to me being autistic, so she contacted a doctor to perform an interview with me for a possible diagnosis. during this interview, autism was not mentioned once, and the doctor pointed me towards a government program that would help me find a good university to study at. (???)

even my psychologist was confused, so i contacted my therapist and asked him to help sort this situation out with me and my psychologist. it turns out the doctor didn't mention autism because she just didn't think i have it, and that's that. no questions answered, and i'm now more confused than i was when i started. i feel like i wasted my time.

do i just accept that i'm not autistic? i don't know why i feel so.. disappointed. i guess it just feels like it would have explained so much about me.

  • crime [she/her, any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    Sometimes doctors are full of shit and bad at their jobs, the psychologist should be the one making the diagnosis and it's okay to get a second opinion

    I found a psychiatrist once that refused to believe I have ADHD even though I've got a thorough diagnosis of it, just because I'm a woman and I graduated college and I have a job, so he wouldn't treat me for it properly (refused to prescribe the medication I knew worked for me and had no negative side effects). That clown was obviously full of shit so I went elsewhere. That's a thing you can do.

  • pink_mist [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    You don't need a doctor to tell you what you already know about yourself. The only reason to see a doctor is to get a diagnosis for an ADA compliant disability. If they won't give it to you it's because you didn't open your wallet wide enough or they judged that your wallet wasn't fat enough.

    • theytakemeawayfrom [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      i live in finland and i already have diagnoses for depression and anxiety, getting another diagnosis wouldn't get me anything extra in terms of government benefits or anything like that.

  • Smeagolicious [they/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Almost the same situation here - after testing and months of discussion get diagnosed with ADHD and am told “you’d probably be diagnosed with ‘Asperger Syndrome’ if that was a term anymore, we just say that’s on the spectrum now” Proceeds to not give an actual diagnosis of ASD and just shrugs.

    I’m not disappointed per se but I feel like there’s been a lot of pretty blatant evidence and having a professional basically tell you “no but yes *shrug*” is always frustrating

  • FunkyStuff [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I've been diagnosed as being on the spectrum a decent number of times, and also been told that I'm not on the spectrum. The symptoms you say are probably signs you're on the spectrum, if you think it explains that part of you then I don't see why you should pay too much mind to it. Just keep in mind it doesn't define or limit you :meow-hug:

  • Eris235 [undecided]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    Sometimes the system is shit. Sometimes its right. FWIW, from your description, it does kinda sound like your doctor is shit.

    However, with all this stuff, all these labels, its never cut and dry. Basically everything about the human experience is a spectrum, with many 'neurotypical' people having some scatted symptoms of stuff like Autism, or ADHD, or even Schizophrenia. But diagnostic criteria in the medical industry means that some people drew a line, and that line is at least X number of these symptoms, for at least Y duration and frequency. And if you don't met that threshold, you don't medically get the label.

    None of that means your symptoms aren't real, or don't disrupt your life. A good therapist will, as a primary goal, help you to minimize your disruptions. A good Psych will give you treatments to make your life as smooth as possible.

    I'm speaking a lot from my own experience here. I had thought, and been told occasionally, that I had Schizophrenia. But when I actually had bad enough breaks to convince me to seek treatment, my hallucinations and delusions were infrequent and intermittent enough to to meet the 'threshold' of a diagnosis of Schizophrenia, and so I ended up with the label of 'Bipolar type 2', which can come with psychosis. And, in a weird way, that was kind of disappointing to me? Like, obviously, I don't want my mental illness to be 'worse', but 'just' having Bipolar didn't feel like it was 'serious' enough to explain my badbrain.

    And, for me, it did work out in the end. I had to go through 4 therapists before I found one that actually helped me, and 3 psychs before I found medication that helped me, but I got there.

    I still feel, like, part of the Schizophrenia 'group', having gone through psychosis, but also its hard to not feel like a fraud saying that. Its tricky, with identity and groups and labels and stuff. Not knowing your life, from what you've told me, if I were you, I'd hesitate to definitely say "I have autism", as that could come off as insensitive. However, if you have life disruptions from symptoms of autisms, and it sounds like you do, I don't think its dishonest to say that you are on the spectrum. All the while, its important for you, as with everyone, to live your best life. Seek what treatments help you be happy and healthy, live with what you don't have interest in changing, and learn to live with what evades treatment.

    • theytakemeawayfrom [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      i really appreciate this comment. that last paragraph was especially helpful, since part of my inner struggle over this issue has been with me feeling like a fraud as you described. thank you for sharing your experience.

  • Fartster [comrade/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    This happened to me, I did like 30 hours of testing for the drs to reach the conclusion that I'm fine + that I might be add but they wouldn't diagnose due to a drug record. All tests were done in a quiet room with minimal distractions and no extra stimulation. My knee jerk conclusion to explain all my personal failings is that I'm just stupid asshole. Eventually I accepted that I had some really bad socialization and need to work extra hard to learn anything. I still believe I am ND but I'm not going through that shit again.

    • theytakemeawayfrom [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      This kinda seems like an adhd post to me.

      i dunno what that means, i don't have adhd.

      What's the goal in being labeled?

      peace of mind. getting an explanation for my unusual thought patterns and behaviours would help me out mentally

        • crime [she/her, any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          The adhd part is about the huge up tick I’ve seen in people thinking they are adhd and need help to control it. It’s big pharma for young people that actually don’t have any issues but are feeding them propganda to get them wanting to consume there drugs that will fix their issues. It’s self diagnosis for a culture that only wants good little worker bees that go out and spend nicely when not at work.

          :yikes:

          1. you're not the arbiter of whether or not other people have issues or whether or not they need help for them

          2. people should be allowed to take any drug they want, provided they can do so responsibly, regardless of whether or not they "need" it (which, again, you do not get to decide)

          3. "Self-diagnosis culture" is a byproduct of a shitty non-functioning capitalist medical system that does not actually care about providing patients with answers or support, only wringing them for money. It intersects with shitty sexist and racist research, which perpetuates shitty sexist and racist disparities of outcome. For example, the disparity in diagnoses of ADHD and ASD between girls and boys, partially due to the fact that boys with ADHD tend to present with primarily hyperactive symptoms that are disruptive to others, and girls tend to present with more inattentive symptoms that are often overlooked because they aren't disruptive to others.

          If you are anything other than a non-fat cishet white male, navigating the healthcare system in most western countries virtually necessitates self-diagnosis and relentless self-advocacy to get any kind of help, treatment, or answers for any medical issue.

          1. ADHD medication is not for being "a good little worker bee" it's for being able to have a fucking life. Under FALGSC I would still take my ADHD medication. When I'm off my medication I can't even consistently remember to take care of myself properly. I can't keep track of what my hobbies are or the things that I meant to write down or say or do or what movies I like to watch. I barely have any sense of self because my working memory is such garbage and my executive functioning is so bad. When I've lost access to my meds and needed to start rationing you know what days I skipped? Fucking workdays. Cause I can get by at my job better without than I can live my fucking life and enjoy my goddamned free time.

          2. All of this unfounded hot garbage that you've just shared perpetuates stigma against people with ADHD and other neurodivergences. Getting a diagnosis and treatment for ADHD, Autism, and other disorders is already incredibly difficult, especially as an adult. There are about a dozen different hoops you need to jump through, which is extra hard when you have can't-jump-through-hoops disorder. When I realized I had ADHD, it took me over a year to even start on the track towards diagnosis and treatment. When I started, it took about 6 months from scheduling my first appointment to finally getting treatment.

          In summary: :downbear:

        • maya [she/her, they/them]
          ·
          2 years ago

          Are you basing this off any actual evidence or are you just talking out of your ass? OP literally went through three months of tests that led his psychologist to suspect ASD, but I'm sure a random stranger on the internet knows much better. And why are you talking about ADHD and big pharma on a post about autism anyway?

  • edge [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    2 years ago

    She just met you once and decided you aren't autistic? Without asking any questions or doing any tests related to autism? After months of tests that said you probably are, with your psychologist agreeing? Yeah don't take that. You'll just need to find someone else diagnose you. The person actually diagnosing you needs to test you personally.

    Is this doctor part of a program/practice specifically related to autism? If not, try to find one. I got diagnosed (as an adult) by a university-run program.