Me, a terminally online leftist showing up to the Embassy of the People's Republic of China in Washington, D.C. with printouts of all two thousand of my posts from all my hexbear.net accounts.
“I’m not really sure which ones qualify, so I brought all of them. The rest I’ll just put in my scrapbook entitled Digital Synthesis: A Poster’s Theory & Praxis, I guess?”
Me, crying, knocking on one of the doors of one of Mitch McConnell’s many mansions: “I need some directions…”
Sir, this is the Embassy of the People's Republic of China.
You are looking for the embassy of Russia. They will pay you $1 for every post that is critical of anything said by the Democratic party, no questions asked. But while you're here, are you at all interested in belts or roads by chance?
Sir
Me, getting misgendered by the Embassy of the People’s Republic of China.
:kitty-cri-texas: “Yes, I’ll take one of each.”Sorry! I was going for the old "Sir, this is a Wendys" line with some words replaced and didn't check pronouns. My mistake!
Teary eyed, asking the embassy staff how many of my tweets on twitter.com Chen Weihua has to like for me to qualify for full citizenship.
Submitting a grant request for a belt road initiative within Texas that razes the i45 and turns it into railroads.
抱歉，我们没有收到这方面的文件和精神
"Sorry, we haven't received any documents or spirits [extremely hard to translate here, spirit in the sense of "spirit of the law"] from the higher ups on such matters."
Me, after being let go from my entry-level position at the Open Society Foundations for showing my supervisor all the work I’d performed on hexbear.net:
I got fired for a perfect post!
