He's dead to me. I switch rapidly between hoping his zombifying body dies ASAP, and missing the person he was before Nazis brainwashed and stole him.
He was a shitty friend who gatekept random things, like listening to bands in his mid-twenties. Much due to toxic masculinity. I found him quite cringey. Now he's a Nazi.
Yet I mourn his cringe ass each day. A whole person was lost to Nazis. I'm cycling, and I need new outlooks on this situation to get out of this rut. My self care is suffering.
Man, the same thing happened to me.
He always had problematic beliefs, but I lied to myself that he was only kidding (yes, stupid in hindsight, I am not a clever man, etc.). It wasn't until I saw his blood-in-the-mouth reaction to the Ukraine-Russian war did I realise that he was just a stone's throw away from fash and I just couldn't keep hanging around him anymore. I miss him... I just wish he wasn't like this. It's why I had to say good bye.
However, I made him as a friend by hanging out in places that I enjoyed at the time. I realise now that if I want a friend like him again, I'll have to put myself out there again and find a person who believes in similar things that what I do. That's hard, I know, but I think that I can do it.
It's worrying seeing libs put up Ukraine flags in my neighborhood. I want this shit out of here, and my life in general. You're smart for kicking him out yours despite the pain of doing so.
You know what, I need to talk to friends I already have. I've cut most of them off while depressed, but I can collect whole new outlooks just by hanging around them. New memories can replace old ones if you live in the moment. No matter how much I still think of this guy, I'll end up doing it less just by having good company present. Thanks! :meow-fiesta: