6 Ugly Facts Of Life In Communist Cuba | Cracked.com
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We spoke to those who lived under Fidel Castro's rule. Here's what we learned.

Yes, it's an interview with a gusano. Yes, his family were business owners. Here's the peach:

"One day, my sister came home and exclaimed, 'Fidel is better than Jesus!' In school they had asked the kindergartners to close their eyes and pray to Jesus for ice cream. When they opened their eyes -- nothing. Then they closed their eyes again and prayed to Fidel for ice cream, and ... surprise! Ice cream cups on their desks! I remember my mother's reaction: 'Helado! Que rico!' She totally avoided any other comment for fear of whatever she said making it back to my sister's teacher."

  • BeamBrain [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    It's stolen almost beat-for-beat from an anti-communist short film whose name escapes me

    • Grimble [he/him,they/them]
      ·
      2 years ago

      If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? i think.

      Seriously though, you're not kidding about it being beat for beat. He literally just told an obvious lie and people just accept it because who the fuck has ever seen that movie except a dedicated, decrepit anticommunist like him?

        • BeamBrain [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          What the fuck, this wasn't even the movie I was thinking of. In the one I remember, the teacher was a woman and the leader was unnamed

          I didn't realize this was an actual trope

        • Quimby [any, any]
          ·
          2 years ago

          "give them Nazi armbands... but put a hammer and sickle on them instead!"

        • happybadger [he/him]
          ·
          2 years ago

          "We will pray to our glorious leader Fidel Castro and our glorious Fidel will bring us all of the candy we can eat"

          Communism is fucking awesome.