Clawing my way up out of the fucking dirt and finding things to like about myself and also any sort of hope for the future has been hard, but getting lots of applause from drunk college girls at karaoke helps with the self-esteem now
I still have a long way to go and it feels incredibly unfair that being inexperienced is seen as a red flag by lots of people, but growth is growth and I figure I wouldn't want to be with someone so shallow they'd blow me off for having been isolated for so long anyway
I'm happy that you feel you are making progress, even though it is slow. The best advice I can give is to seek professional therapy. I waited for way too long because it felt scary but it really helps to get a systematic explanation for the feelings you have.
Been in professional therapy for decades on and off (because it's fuckong expensive) and only recently tried a new approach, seeking an ADHD specialist and, since the start of the year, social skills group coaching via Zoom. Both have helped immensely but probably wouldn't have helped at all without years of prior therapy for dealing with my depression.
Severe childhood neglect paired with severe ADHD and depression have been pretty toxic for me and I'm seeing things in a new way recently, but I've been incredibly miserable for the bulk of my 36 years and was suicidal for a very long time. But something makes me keep going and wanting to do better and wanting to help other people so they don't have to go through what I did. I didn't fucking ask to be here, haven't enjoyed it so far, but I'm stuck on this planet with these assholes. Might as well make the most of it, and the most of myself.
Clawing my way up out of the fucking dirt and finding things to like about myself and also any sort of hope for the future has been hard, but getting lots of applause from drunk college girls at karaoke helps with the self-esteem now
I still have a long way to go and it feels incredibly unfair that being inexperienced is seen as a red flag by lots of people, but growth is growth and I figure I wouldn't want to be with someone so shallow they'd blow me off for having been isolated for so long anyway
I'm happy that you feel you are making progress, even though it is slow. The best advice I can give is to seek professional therapy. I waited for way too long because it felt scary but it really helps to get a systematic explanation for the feelings you have.
Been in professional therapy for decades on and off (because it's fuckong expensive) and only recently tried a new approach, seeking an ADHD specialist and, since the start of the year, social skills group coaching via Zoom. Both have helped immensely but probably wouldn't have helped at all without years of prior therapy for dealing with my depression.
Severe childhood neglect paired with severe ADHD and depression have been pretty toxic for me and I'm seeing things in a new way recently, but I've been incredibly miserable for the bulk of my 36 years and was suicidal for a very long time. But something makes me keep going and wanting to do better and wanting to help other people so they don't have to go through what I did. I didn't fucking ask to be here, haven't enjoyed it so far, but I'm stuck on this planet with these assholes. Might as well make the most of it, and the most of myself.