I'm bisexual. My grandfather committed suicide. I've been meditating for an hour a day and reading Ulysses and I feel my doomerism and contempt melting away.

      • GilesGoatGoy [none/use name]
        ·
        4 years ago

        This is a real story that I just wrote out for the first time. A few months ago I was walking back to campus from the bars when a passed this little strip mall type thing in a busy area and saw this girl freaking out. I went up to her and asked what's up. She said an bunch of crazy which and told me she was on acid and couldn't be in the light of the gambling place down the street where she had come from. I was going to call my friend and try to get us a ride and then she attacked me and said a bunch of crazy shit so I left and the last place I saw her was she hunched over a log in front of the kratom bar with her backpack ( I guess she was a student). she was wearing a red sweatshirt. So anyways I come back to this area a few days later to get some kratom from the place next to where she was and I swear I find her red sweatshirt among a bunch of spread out papers among other things which still bother me. I go into the kratom bar to get my stuff and tell the girl behind the counter all this and she doesn't believe me because I changed the story to say that I had taken the girl on the acid trip home because of guilt. I never called the cops To this day, in this commerce area behind the Arby's in Grand Junction CO you can find the log. The seasons have covered the girls papers but you can still sweep it away and see them for yourselves.

        • half_giraffe [comrade/them]
          ·
          4 years ago

          I don't think you should feel bad about not calling the cops because they have a history of being shitty, but yeah that's wild. I hope she's okay.

          • GilesGoatGoy [none/use name]
            ·
            4 years ago

            Its relevant that the place I live is the center of collapse. There are no jobs and meth is absurdly popular. The most refined folk, if you get them drunk will admit to trying at least once, I've been given it by nervous people and I've snorted it. We're all familiar with the state you find yourself in. You say crazy shit, flex your muscles, and have a good time. I've lived here all my life and was certain she was a methhead. If I thought she was really in danger I would have called the cops. The shitty, worthless, abusive cops. At least it would have been something

            • half_giraffe [comrade/them]
              ·
              4 years ago

              I do always forget how I'm from a much more bougie area than most people, I've literally never seen someone on meth before let alone been offered it. I can understand then, especially for a police force in the area, that they have some sort of experience with not outright murdering people on drugs. I just think it's easy to fall into the moral trap of "I should have done something" when in hindsight, and I don't think it's very productive to dwell too much on past actions like this - each action has to be taken with the present considerations in mind, so I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened to this woman (especially because you aren't 100% sure what happened to her).

              I'm just trying to be supportive, I guess, and I don't want you to lay so much responsibility on yourself. I can literally never imagine myself being a methhead, so putting myself in this story is difficult. I just hope you don't spend a ton of time worrying about what could have been.

        • coeliacmccarthy [he/him]
          ·
          4 years ago

          Jeez! I can't say I fully understand what went on but that sounds ominous. Did you need that off your chest?