Sorry for the vent post just needed to get this off my chest in writing somewhere. Let me know if I need more trigger warnings I don't want to stir up these emotions in other people.
Ever year its the same shit. Every year I have to drive 15hrs to Texas just to put on a happy face and act like I enjoy being around :grillman: types making the same 5 jokes for 6 hours.
Its just so isolating being around the same family that was responsible for so much trauma in both my mom's life and mine. I mean my grandparents beat the shit out of all their children and my uncle regularly sat on my chest to strangle me while the rest of my family watched but I'm supposed to act cordially to these people? Nah man don't act like I'm supposed to like you fuckers.
Starting to think I'll use an excuse to tell them I wont be coming again, cause this shit is way too mentally draining. I know its family but I genuinely detest being around them. Sometimes I wonder if this is a southern white thing as we have always been such a disconnected family compared to my minority friends who regularly interact and spend time with their family.
Other people feel like this right? The holidays are generally very stressful for other people too right?
Again sorry for the vent its gotta go somewhere though
:yea:
The power dynamics shift with age, and sometimes older family members won't adjust to you asserting yourself as their equal.
I've tried two approaches to family gatherings: keeping my mouth shut, and refusing to back down well past the point where I'm shouting at them.
After a decade of trying the quiet way, I prefer the shouting. It's really helped to establish seriousness about, "Stop trying to repair my relationship with the family fascist, you lib."