[CW: (Internalized) Oppression]
I already feel like I'm hated for one of my identities. If you combine them all, then it feels like the amount of respect I get condenses even further.
Not only is there so much hate when I am acknowledged, but there are people who don't acknowledge me whatsoever. I'm a black, non-binary, pansexual, and neurodivergent person. I sound like the blueprint for a chud's joke about "wokism" and "political correctness".
When people learn of who I am, they're baffled that I, a black person could get into the supposed "woke white liberal gender shit", as chuds tend to call it, because apparently EMPOC genderqueer people are non-existent or something. And yes, I have seen plenty of people call queer identity and egalitarian causes as a whole "white things."
I have had people say they're baffled that I'm black and vegan. People have told me that they're baffled that I'm black and a feminist. People have told me that they're baffled that I'm black and anti-capitalist even.
The notion that these things are at odds with my blackness is something I don't feel uneducated enough to understand. Why would my being black make me shy away from these things? My being black, along with all of my intersections, makes the case for my alignment with these even stronger, yet I remain invisible.
The fact that I'm invisible while simultaneously despised is a crushing feeling that makes it hard to truly take pride in who I am, and I'm ashamed to admit it, but beyond Hexbear, I wouldn't trust most people who identify with leftism. This is the only place where I feel like I can exist as whatever the fuck I am and have it not be taken as either a joke or just something to shove to the side. It's a place where I don't feel like I have to sense that I'm going to get targeted by hate speech simply for mentioning my gender identity, and as sad as it is to say, that is an incredibly rare find on the internet especially.
There is no true liberation desired by most self-identified "leftists" I've encountered, and the intersections I have seem to serve as a test that can prove how true that is every single fucking time. Misunderstanding is the primary ingredient for my depression and internalized oppression, and as long as that misunderstanding persists from people who only pretend to care, I will continue to feel like I'm some sort of "broken" in my existence, even though, if I just think logically instead of emotionally for a moment, I know that's not true.
I'd love to see a world where we're all liberated from the shackles of oppression, but for the time being, I just want the slightest relief from my "political" existence.
Contextualize this for yourself by remembering that you're literally in Florida
Daddy DeSantis is being less generous with the good boy points he gives me for having internalized hatred, so I started taking more pride in myself.
You're cool and good and I'm glad to see you posting here
Also I think I still have you on discord, feel free to reach out and vent if you need to
You deserve sanctuary, not from the world, but in it. Your exhaustion from being denied that is all too real. Take rest wherever you find it, you’re beyond due.
all im getting is that people are baffled by black people existing as anything more than a caricature in their heads
You have no idea how many white people I've met who are incredibly pleased with themselves that they just learned that black people are not a monolith.
This is usually because they wanted to keep loving cops and, news to them, there are pro-cop black people. Imagine!
The notion that these things are at odds with my blackness is something I don't feel uneducated enough to understand.
Imagine the characters in a kids show - they each have one adjective because it's a simple show, so there's a brave one, a smart one, a cool one, etc. Which is fine on its own; it's okay for a show to be simple. But because being a cishet white etc etc male is the default, each difference from that also counts as an adjective, so while the show might have a character that's the girl one, the black one, or the gay one, those characters don't get any more adjectives.
Then take it out of a kid's show, and we're still stuck with cishet white etc etc males as the default, so every difference from that counts as being "complicated" and if you've got too many then you're "making things complicated" and some asshole is going to hate you for making them think.
as weird as I look and as much strangeness as I get being a queer-looking cis white lady in small town rural Ohio, I can only imagine how much heavier that judgey gaze falls on you in Florida
You are loved and treasured here, and I hope someday soon you feel that in all your waking hours, not just the ones you spend with us ❤️
I'm a black, non-binary, pansexual, and neurodivergent person
Misunderstanding is the primary ingredient for my depression and internalized oppression
wow it me. I have definitely experienced similar feelings and I wish I could give some great insight, but I don't know. I've always felt either invisible or like a...curiosity(?) thanks to these intersections and my appearance, both to strangers and family, and I have to fight that desire to be hated, because that at least feels like it implies some form of recognition or understanding. That's nonsense of course but it feels real.
That feeling of being a "curiosity" is so immensely dehumanizing. It's a perfect way to phrase what it feels like. I just see myself as a human who wants to vibe.
I've gotten so many "what are you?"s in every job, public, or academic setting I've been in, and it is soooooo fucking tiresome and dehumanizing. Can I just be me already?
It annoys me when American liberals and conservatives bring up the persecution and/or discrimination of minorities in communist countries and how that's evidence that gommunism BAD.
Apparently communism and communists cannot change and progress, yet if I bring up the the democrats' creation of the KKK and lynch mobs or the republicans' eventual pivot towards supporting those same things, it's whataboutism. They act like the inclusion of minorities in the capitalist machine didn't only happen less than a century ago.
The notion that these things are at odds with my blackness is something I don't feel uneducated enough to understand. Why would my being black make me shy away from these things? My being black, along with all of my intersections, makes the case for my alignment with these even stronger, yet I remain invisible.
It's based on stereotypes imposed upon the group as well as from within. It's also whether the dominant group also has control of perception. Sometimes people fall for their own propaganda. For example, I believe that statistically, POC are more likely to be vegan in the US, but the media only shows white, annoying, weak hipsters in skinny jeans or preaching to their parents as vegans. Not only does it create biased hostility towards vegans, it also creates the image that it's a "white thing." Similarly, the USSR has been reduced to "Russia" in the west, so they'll falsely attribute every failure and achievement to just Russians which makes other nationalities upset for rewriting their contributions, and it causes the somewhat knowledgeable yet propagandized westoid to assume that everyone is like them and try to "correct" you when you say the Soviets did something by saying "Umm... actually, the Russians didn't do that. It was [Soviet nationality] that did it".
Black interest in anime is now pretty normal, but back when I was younger it was associated with the weird, nerdy white and Asian kids lol. You can also see this in the fantasy genre; studios will try to throw in a token minority, get a bunch of backlash, and if it affects their profits they never do it again, so all you get is a bunch of white people in a realm of make believe and magic because white people deemed it unacceptable otherwise, so those who never see themselves represented or included will assume it's not for them. Another example is I have a female coworker who said she always assumed video games were just annoying toys for boys until she played Tomb Raider and other critically acclaimed games with female leads. The dominant group gatekeeps which results in us being ignorant about it completely, or other people in our group self-enforcing the gatekeeping because it seems like "the natural order of things."
I speak generally and don't mean that you, specifically, need to go out and do this, but I think one of the ways we fix this with or without the help of the dominant group (or gaining a position of influence) is to keep being yourself even if other people say you don't belong there or "we" don't belong there. You may even get other people in your group to explore their true selves and interests and lean on you to guide them through an unwelcoming environment.
For example, I believe that statistically, POC are more likely to be vegan in the US, but the media only shows white, annoying, weak hipsters in skinny jeans or preaching to their parents as vegans. Not only does it create biased hostility towards vegans, it also creates the image that it's a "white thing."
Citations Needed had a very good episode about this, as a matter of fact. The media's portrayal of vegans is about as distorted as... well, its portrayal of communists.
the democrats' creation of the KKK and lynch mobs
Lmao no way, did they actually? Just learned this today, why am I even shocked
Thanks, I couldn’t find the acronym anywhere. Extra Marxist had crossed my mind haha
There's not much I can really say here that you haven't already other than I know your struggle, and pray to the divinities I worship that you find at least a way station you can find peace for a time at, if not permanently.
Big mood, there's also the case of being never quite whatever enough for the all the various groups because of other facets of identity, or at least that's been my experience. Others see us, society consists of many individuals, perhaps we can be very, very slow agents of inspiring change for the better, though its a terrible experience of endless alienation.
Many leftists I've encountered have been perfect paragons of the bourgeois system's morality, no different than the libs, sometimes very hostile, and others as some sort of precious curio like one would find in shelf of artifacts at a museum, rather than a person, and very, very far from comrade.
You comrade, shall inherit the uranium salted earth and everyone not like you shall die, for you are the pineapple of the human condition.
I see a shirt with your face on it in the future
and a couple stars too
Hey, what do you mean by this?
Please explain for the class.
"You'll be celebrated for the adversity you've gone through and will have overcome."
but there are people who don't acknowledge me whatsoever.
My wife is nonbinary and holy shit the way people ignore anything she says all the goddamn time. I can also relate to not trusting non-hexbear leftists, I meet some weird characters out there. It sucks being a walking litmus test for people's ideological commitment.
