My lust for women is a lurking, cunning creature that understands how and where to kill me

I feel like I’m dying. Every time I think my pornography addiction is healing, this Gollum-esque creature I call Lust returns from the shadows. It waits till I get weary and shut my eyes. It creeps over, silent, slithering over stones and vines, watching my still form with glinting eyes.

This creature called Lust slowly, deliberately unsheathes a thin dagger. It isn’t quite strong enough to murder me when I’m awake, because I could savor its death, slowly suffocating it in my grasp.

Instead, it uses wit and cunning, waiting till I’m vulnerable. It takes that dagger and stabs into my neck, over and over. By the time I realize I’m under attack, a half dozen holes in my neck are spewing blood. All I can managed is a strangled gurgle, as this bony creature looks down on me with a grin.

I despise it. If given the chance, I would kill this malnourished, miserable creature with a cruel satisfaction. I want to watch its ribs pop, one by one. I want to watch it screech in pain as I slowly, deliberately drive a stake through its neck. I fantasize of watching the life fade from its eyes. But I can’t. It scampers around in the woods, fleeing when I give chase.

But always, I get tired. I sit down. I take a nap. And the creature which could never take me in a fair fight gets to watch my gurgling cry for help.

answer

/r/TrueChristian

  • CrimsonSage [any]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I remember pre transition there really wasn't any way to be "addicted." I would occasionally feel horny, I would "take care of it" and that would be that until the feeling came back a few days later. Like there wasn't any more of an addiction than eating regular meals was an addiction.

    • CommunistBarbie [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      Yeah, similar. I think that (guilt => orgasm reward => guilt) loop is what gets to religious people like this.

      It’s useful for controlling people and getting them to invest in patriarchal systems, so conservatives don’t address it.

      • drhead [he/him]
        ·
        2 years ago

        Yeah, this is why I don't really like the :volcel-judge: stuff. Conservatives have very successfully sold this narrative to a much broader group of people to the point where quite a large amount of zoomers actually believe in this shit or otherwise internalize aspects of it. People don't know the damage they're doing. Not only does it help reinforce patriarchal systems, but people coming from sexually repressive backgrounds make up a large majority of abusers and people with paraphilic disorders. While I'm sure most of these people think they're fixing the problem, they're actually making it worse.

          • drhead [he/him]
            ·
            2 years ago

            There's definitely a line between wanting people to not post that kind of stuff here and outright harboring and expressing negative attitudes towards sex in general. And I'm not talking about just here, but I do see people crossing that line here on occasion.

            I'm also not the only one who has noticed this trend and attributed it to zoomers either since I have seen older queer people call this stuff out too: https://twitter.com/AuntHortense/status/1444847580932882435