My lust for women is a lurking, cunning creature that understands how and where to kill me

I feel like I’m dying. Every time I think my pornography addiction is healing, this Gollum-esque creature I call Lust returns from the shadows. It waits till I get weary and shut my eyes. It creeps over, silent, slithering over stones and vines, watching my still form with glinting eyes.

This creature called Lust slowly, deliberately unsheathes a thin dagger. It isn’t quite strong enough to murder me when I’m awake, because I could savor its death, slowly suffocating it in my grasp.

Instead, it uses wit and cunning, waiting till I’m vulnerable. It takes that dagger and stabs into my neck, over and over. By the time I realize I’m under attack, a half dozen holes in my neck are spewing blood. All I can managed is a strangled gurgle, as this bony creature looks down on me with a grin.

I despise it. If given the chance, I would kill this malnourished, miserable creature with a cruel satisfaction. I want to watch its ribs pop, one by one. I want to watch it screech in pain as I slowly, deliberately drive a stake through its neck. I fantasize of watching the life fade from its eyes. But I can’t. It scampers around in the woods, fleeing when I give chase.

But always, I get tired. I sit down. I take a nap. And the creature which could never take me in a fair fight gets to watch my gurgling cry for help.

answer

/r/TrueChristian

  • JamesConeZone [they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    yeah, if this dude's experience is anything like mine, violence is glorified as an inherently masculine (=desirable) trait, so everything is a battle and everything is life and (a brutal) death. Like people would think it's laudable that he's "conquering" or "defeating" his human desires. it seriously fucked me up, and i had to go to a sex therapist for years to figure out if i was asexual or just terrified of sex from trauma. not everyone had that experience, but this language definitely hits home especially the use of gratuitous violence to describe being horny