It is hard and you have to trick yourself into it. I imagined a sensation in place of words, a glottal stop, and then mentally migrated that imagined feeling to my brainstem. Doing that for a while got me much better control of my thoughts, and now I can summon the void to consume me on a whim.
Me before ADHD meds.
Me after ADHD meds: "It's absolute fucking bullshit that people live their entire lives feeling like this and I just didn't know that." Not to say you've got ADHD, but it's not NOT relatable.
You can (maybe) trade it in if you like for having to see a doctor every 90 days to talk about how you've still got the condition you'll have for the rest of your time alive and then constantly fight with your pharmacy about keeping your meds regularly stocked and that you're not a drug dealer because 30-90 pills is a laughable amount to be selling in the first place and the amount of insane fucking hoops you have to jump through for them at all is already a nightmare for a neurotypical person let alone non. Then they'll reluctantly give you only 30 days supply at a time which will be exactly 30 days regardless of if the month has 31 or 28 or whatever, so you'll always pick up on the same day each month(again, providing they actually stocked them this month or forgot or switched to a another generic that isn't one that works on you, or....) but never get the right amount of pills for that month unless it happens to have 30 days. So you'll randomly have to ration even when you get the "right" amount of drugs after paying for the pleasure of all of it. Also your insurance might decide randomly to stop paying until you call or pay to see your doctor again to convince them to tell your insurance to get fucked and that it's not a suggestion and they don't decide your care. Providing you have a good doctor of course. Or even one that believes in ADHD at all. Oh and also you're not already an adult or AFAB. We just decided for no reason at all that basically we weren't gonna treat those groups unless they were extremely lucky.
:freedom-and-democracy: :amerikkka:
