LMAO see how stupid this sounds? They have to realize eventually that once you have to add disclaimers under every snappy comment, you instantly look like the suckup loser.

You can't keep an ideology alive when it's so strictly and neurotically balanced between two distinct levels of radicalism (aesthetic leftism vs NATO/none at all). Anti-Tankies can only exist with the CIA's forceful help because little do they realize, they're fighting a battle in 2 directions at once. They're never willing to do the smart thing sometimes as commies and say "yea so what". Instead they picture the hammer & sickle, then get a buried primal anxiety for Home or Mommy or maybe even Jesus but the internalized USAmerican biases are so subconscious they think theyre feeling normal apprehension when they go out of the way to exclude AES from talk of socialism. Not even trying to psychoanalyze here, but ive met/almost been these types and the one sharp, painful barrier between them and not doing op shit is often that they forgot to actually examine the paranoia they were taught. Instead they shrugged it off, went "yay Leftism", and tried to frantically build their beliefs around it, guided at every misguided google-search-rabbithole by CIA data.

If any of that sounds relatable to you, my first recommendation is (not to sound intimidating but) to start from scratch. Imagine you've just discovered communism, and walk yourself through the process of learning, but this time start in openly communist spaces. Listen to some reading/listening/watching recs from comrades you might otherwise deflect suggestions from (especially if the worry is authoritarianism) and ask plenty of questions. You're bound to learn some surprising things.